My name is Jennifer and I am a recovered mental illness survivor—

            I have endured severe mental illness for over half my life.  During that time, I suffered from clinical depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, schizoaffective disorder, and borderline personality disorder.

            Due to the depression, my behaviors ranged from excessive crying to excessive sleeping to suicide attempts.  I felt feelings of worthlessness, hopelessness, and helplessness.  All I thought I wanted to do was die.   But in fact, what I really wanted was help with overcoming my severe sadness.

            During my manic states, I endured impulsive, spontaneous, and irresponsible behaviors.  I felt on top of world.  I felt excessive amounts of energy.  I had racing thoughts.  I had delusions of grandeur.  I’ll be honest.  It felt great to be so high, but it is also very dangerous.  Risky behaviors can lead to much endangerment of self and others.

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Everyone struggles with something in life. Some struggle for brief periods of time and some struggle every day. I belong to the some who struggle every day. Since I was 5 years old I have constantly struggled with mental illness. I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, schizophrenia, depression, anxiety, ADD, ADHD, PTSD, and attention deficit Disorder. My dad, step mother, and Step Father physically abused me for most of my life because they didn’t understand what I was going through and my Mother was the only person in my life to try to help me through everything I was dealing with. Unfortunately I did not trust anyone around me due to how I was treated at home and because I was constantly bullied at school because I was different. Eventually the abuse I was facing at my step fathers house led to me going into a state of shock and I tried to hurt my mother because I was so out of it and thought she was my step father. I was 15 at this point and was detained. 

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I have been struggling with mental illness from a young age. I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, adhd, ocd, borderline personality disorder, anxiety, psychogenic seizures, and a learning disability. I also am I recovering addict. I would like to spread my story to those in need to show them that the darkness does fade as long as you have the strength to flip the light. The goal is to inspire everyone but if that is not possible I aim to touch at least one person.

Hi I am Amber Reid I am Black and I have bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder and ptsd. I am also a survivor of domestic violence. I am 23 years old I have been to over 10 hospitals and I have taken several medications. Ever since I was five years old I always felt different. I always felt like an untamed free spirit. I tried to kill myself at least thirteen times but I am glad I did not. Now I am getting married July 22 2017. I am in school in Georgia and running a blog.

I knew when I adopted my daughter that both her parents had mental illness in the form of Bi-polar and Borderline Personality Disorder. Like many  adoptive parents I thought love would be all she needed.

In looking back I think the first signs appeared when she was 6 years old. She cried so much, more than what I thought was normal. Her pediatrician thought she had depression so we started therapy with a highly recommended children’s program.

Over the years my daughter’s depression turned to self harm, self medication, irrational behavior and risky behavior resulting in out patient and in patient treatments at specialty clinics and hospital, bio-feed back, medication, psychiatric stays, an abortion, rape and other sexual assaults (by the way my daughter also has cerebral palsy and uses a cane, walker or wheelchair for mobility) and a a number of abuses from boyfriends, sex partners and her own adoptive father who has since walked out of her life now that she’s no longer cute or compliant.

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I self-harmed for many years and attempted suicide at 19.

I have a daughter with Borderline Personality Disorder and a son with Bipolar Disorder.

I’ve been living with Chronic Migraine Disorder for almost 3 years.

I was also diagnosed with depressive disorder as a complication of chronic illness in April 2015.

Sure, it’s logical that someone living with daily pain would be depressed at times…or often. How could one living with that NOT get depressed? I’ve lost friends, lost being able to spend much time with family, lost ground in classes, lost the ability to do simple things without paying with pain…lost so much.
The past few months, though, have been particularly rough. It’s been a real struggle to care about much of anything, to want to get out of bed and fight through another day, to just keep going and hang in there.

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Hello, my name is Leslie, and my husband has bipolar II disorder/borderline personality disorder. To the outside world, we are a typical family with ups and downs, behind closed doors, we are much more complicated and often tormented by this illness. My husband and I have been together for the better part of almost 19 years. I had a two year old son from my first marriage, and he had a three year old son (who we didn’t know was his until 1999). We married in 1998, had our first son together in 1999, and our second son in 2000. We were a young blended family on a roller coaster of major mood swings, fighting and confusion. I couldn’t understand why Jason would be laughing and relaxed one minute and without warning or explanation he would get irritated and lash out.

For years we fought and argued about his behaviors and what I perceived as a simple lack of self control. His drinking was much more prevalent and I had become very depressed, hopeless, and quite frankly I’d become a class A bitch. Oddly enough, neither of us wanted to give up, we always managed to find enough joy with each other and love for each other that we stayed together and kept trying despite all of pain, but we were continuing to cause severe damage to each other.

In 2004, I learned he’d been self medicating with drugs. This had been happening for a couple of years and I immediately grabbed hold of that as being the root cause of all of our problems. Not knowing where to turn, I reached out to his parents. Jason was lost and suicidal, I was angry and full of hurt and confusion. We went to see a dr and he evaluated Jason. He determined that Jason was not severe enough to be admitted to suicide watch but mentioned the possibility that Jason had bipolar disorder. Not knowing much about the illness, I began to research it and the symptoms fit Jason’s behavior to the letter, but neither of us knew what to do about it.

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My name is Catrena but I go by Cat or BearCat and I’m 28 years old. I was continuously sexually, physically, and psychologically abused as a child, as well as neglected due to substance abuse in the home.This has left me with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Major Depressive disorder, and a possible Bipolar diagnosis. Living with many disorders has left me unable to work in a traditional job setting. In fact, my disorders have landed me in the hospital twice this year with suicidal thoughts and manic episodes. I am thriving in my own way, however, having become engaged this year, as well as embarking on a long time goal of becoming a public speaker. I have been through Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, EMDR, and psychotherapy. Many days are dark and stormy, but with the support of medical professionals as well as my loving fiance, I know I can be a mentally ill and successful person. I have chosen to be on mood stabilizers, but I love hearing ways that people find to thrive while recovering and maintaining mental illnesses. I am always searching for new opportunities to connect and help other individuals who struggle with mental illness find positive ways to cope with their symptoms and live each moment as a gift. I am here to say that while many days can be tough, living with mental illness is not any reason to feel like you cannot be loved and successful in this lifetime.  

I try to volunteer every year, not only to help others, but because I, myself, have a mental illness. I probably will have it a long time so I try to stay positive. I can’t always do that, but I have faith and the National Alliance of Mental Illness (NAMI) gives me power not to give up.

And I knew I wasn’t right 

So I planned on going that Friday night 

And I knew I wasn’t okay

Making it the perfect place for me to stay 

See, for most, a mental hospital isn’t a choice 

It’s one of those things where you are left without a voice 

Brought there suddenly against your will

Then before you know it, you are given a bunch of random pills 

But for me, it was where I was supposed to be

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