Everyone struggles with something in life. Some struggle for brief periods of time and some struggle every day. I belong to the some who struggle every day. Since I was 5 years old I have constantly struggled with mental illness. I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, schizophrenia, depression, anxiety, ADD, ADHD, PTSD, and attention deficit Disorder. My dad, step mother, and Step Father physically abused me for most of my life because they didn’t understand what I was going through and my Mother was the only person in my life to try to help me through everything I was dealing with. Unfortunately I did not trust anyone around me due to how I was treated at home and because I was constantly bullied at school because I was different. Eventually the abuse I was facing at my step fathers house led to me going into a state of shock and I tried to hurt my mother because I was so out of it and thought she was my step father. I was 15 at this point and was detained. 

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            My name is Jennifer and I am a recovered mental illness survivor—

            I have endured severe mental illness for over half my life.  During that time, I suffered from clinical depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, schizoaffective disorder, and borderline personality disorder.

            Due to the depression, my behaviors ranged from excessive crying to excessive sleeping to suicide attempts.  I felt feelings of worthlessness, hopelessness, and helplessness.  All I thought I wanted to do was die.   But in fact, what I really wanted was help with overcoming my severe sadness.

            During my manic states, I endured impulsive, spontaneous, and irresponsible behaviors.  I felt on top of world.  I felt excessive amounts of energy.  I had racing thoughts.  I had delusions of grandeur.  I’ll be honest.  It felt great to be so high, but it is also very dangerous.  Risky behaviors can lead to much endangerment of self and others.

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I am 32, a United States Marine Corps veteran, an auditor and I am living with bipolar disorder II, which causes symptoms of anxiety and depression episodes.

I never truly understood what it meant to have a mental illness until I realized that I was constantly worrying and feeling down. My depression episodes manifested as days of extreme lows where I struggled to get out of bed and perform day-to-day tasks and activities. I spoke to some friends who were dealing with similar symptoms, and they encouraged me to seek professional help. My bipolar diagnosis was identified when I was in a serious car accident while experiencing a manic episode.

Discovering a mental illness while recovering from a major accident was not easy. Here is what helped me accept my diagnosis and recover from my physical and mental injuries:

• My family and friends stepped up tremendously ready to assist and encourage me. I was an emotional and mental mess, and they helped put me back together.
• I had to position myself to receive advice from my family and friends who are familiar with mental illness and are actively managing their own mental illnesses. I also had to remain open to receiving information regarding coping strategies, being mindful of my mood and warning signs of a potential manic episode or manic depression.
• Setting small goals helped me find my way back to myself. I am not the same person I was before the accident, and trying to get back to that person is not realistic. I had to accept the now me in order to move forward.   

Today, I am different because I am living with my diagnosis and my diagnosis is not controlling me. I see my therapist and psychologist on a regular basis. I am mindful of my mood on a daily basis and aware of the warning signs of manic and depressive episodes. I ultimately have taken charge of my life and my health.

There is a need for mental illness to be recognized as a real and serious condition in community specifically the African American community. People need to be educated on the various mental illness diagnoses and symptoms and see a therapist at least 2-4 times a year to maintain their mental health. Education and therapy ensure they are not putting themselves or others in danger. Many people are unaware of their mental illness and choose to suffer in silence. We need to end this process of thinking and encourage people to seek support.

Mental illness screenings should be done 2-4 times a year for preventative reasons, just like an annual physical examinations and biannual dental cleanings. Mental illness screenings should be no different.

My hope is that people who live with mental illness and the people who love them will eventually see all health as equally important.

The pain that’s associated with the diagnosis of a loved one with Mental illness, such as Schizophrenia, Bipolar Disorder, Depression, Anxiety, Suicide, Self Harm, Substance Abuse is and can be very stressful and depleting on the loved ones caring for the individuals with the diagnosis. I have learned from my experiences with my daughter that it takes a lot of Love, Patience and Compassion in order to be their support system which is not at all an easy task, for the simple fact that they perceive you to be against them in spite of you trying your hardest to help and support them. by the way i’ve experienced all these diagnosis with my daughter who was 17 when I began to see these behaviors began to unfold. She’s now 21 and have had many hospitalization and so many issues with staying out of trouble with the law as a result of making poor choices. The treatment options that was offered for her didn’t work because she wouldn’t participate unless she was in the hospital, so after she was released from the hospital the cycle would just repeat itself. There  were times when I didn’t know where to turn for help, I felt desperate so I would search for answers and resources on websites that’s designed for mental health just to find none or ending back to starting point. 

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Before being diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder II – I honestly knew little about it or mental illness in general for that fact. I was drowning in confusion while losing an uphill battle of anxiety, depression, and loneliness. It’s difficult to take care of yourself when it feels like your brain has betrayed you. For those of you who suffer, who are afraid to seek help, or are currently in the threshold of the mental health system, I give you my ABC’s of mental health. Everyone deals and reacts to mental illness differently. This is not a standard guide, but my personal experience with dealing with a new diagnoses, going through the process of finding the right medication, while trying to live life to the fullest despite the struggles and stigmas faced every day.

Anger – at yourself, at life, at everyone around you. Anger toward the medication you have to take, the doctors telling you things you don’t want to hear, therapists making you dig deep to the point of mental breakdowns. Anger that this is your new life. In the words of Tame Impala, “Let it happen.” Then let it go.

Bravery – I know it may not seem like it at times, but it takes a lot of courage and strength to get out of bed and face the world when all you want to do is curl up in a ball and hide from everything. It’s even braver to say things out loud and accept your disorder as part of you -not all of you. I came out to my family and friends in the form of an article that was published. Although I didn’t feel the bravery that they told me I had, it was a necessary step in accepting my illness and reducing the stigma attached to it. To those who struggle every day and find the courage to keep going, you my friend, are a brave one.

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I am mentally ill.
That’s okay.

I wake up every morning and put my pillbox together for the day. I take eleven pills total per diem. Respectively, they treat mood stability, severe anxiety, bipolar depression, blood pressure, bipolar disorder, and more bipolar disorder. I think that is a lot of medication, but I know some who take even more.

I own my mental illness. I know I’m not right. Sometimes my dad says to me, If I could make it so you didn’t have to take medication, I would. He says, I know what it’s like to not be in control of your faculties, it’s humiliating, it’s frustrating.

My meds have made an elegant organization of life. Twelve PM. Four PM. Nine PM. Bed. I can speak in complete sentences most of the time. I don’t often burst out crying or laughing at inappropriate times. There is a logical voice in my head that tells me what is correct behavior and what isn’t but I often find that I know by experience more than by listening to that voice. I still say very inappropriate things and curse like a sailor and make funny noises and sometimes don’t remember what facial expression to use, but that’s me, that’s all me, and I’m used to it. I own it. I’m weird by genetics.

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I first began to experience symptoms of bipolar disorder in my early teens. i was put on Lithium while in a hospital and right away the almost catatonic depression I was in began to ease. From there on in, it seemed medication would be the answer to everything that was wrong with me. For years i was on every depression medication available, tricyclics, MAO inhibitors–when one stopped working, I was simply put on something else. Then things got better and I needed no medication through my twenties. i still struggled with lows, but there were no suicide attempts, I was able to live and love, to work and, for the most part, even enjoy life. Then, at the age of 29 I had a manic episode and my medication nightmare began.

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I have been struggling with mental illness from a young age. I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, adhd, ocd, borderline personality disorder, anxiety, psychogenic seizures, and a learning disability. I also am I recovering addict. I would like to spread my story to those in need to show them that the darkness does fade as long as you have the strength to flip the light. The goal is to inspire everyone but if that is not possible I aim to touch at least one person.

I have been affected by mental illness since the age of 15. You see, that is when I was first diagnosed with Severe Clinical Depression. I am now going on 43. Through the years I have been diagnosed with anxiety, PTSD, and Bipolar Disorder. It has been a long road. It hasn’t been easy. There are days that I want to give up. But my message for you is this:

YOU CAN DO IT!

YOU can live a life with a mental illness. YOU CAN have a family. YOU CAN have friends. YOU CAN have children if you choose. YOU CAN have a successful career. YOU CAN have a successful LIFE!

It won’t come easy. Even people who don’t have a mental illness have it rough at times. But it is possible. It might take a little more work, but if you are determined, you can make things happen!

Bipolar disorder has made my life interesting for sure. And I am not ashamed that I am still trying to find my way in the world. But I am doing it. I am living life, one day at a time. I am dealing with my moods and managing my illness with medication. Not many people understand, but if you talk about it [your illness], and explain it in a way people will understand, we can break the stigma that surrounds Mental Illness.  

My name is Bek. I am a 34-year-old mother who has PTSD and postpartum depression, as well as unspecified bipolar disorder. For the first time in my life I actually feel somewhat stumped when it comes to writing about my mental illness and the road of recovery. I started attending NAMI meetings as part of an outpatient program, which was proceeded by my first ever manic episode and my bipolar diagnosis. 

Depression has been a part of my life since puberty and high anxiety layered itself on top of that. Sharing my story with others has been part of my overall healing and I hope by writing this that someone out there feels less alone. The episodes are real, the panic is real, the mental strain and trauma is real. You get the picture. 

I feel like my emotions have always overwhelmed me, struggling to “get out of my own mind” and did not actively seek any mental help until my mid twenties.  I initially sought out cognitive behavioral therapy which was something very foreign to me. Change your habits, change your thoughts, feel better, right?  It allowed me to move through some of the issues that had grown deep roots in my psyche and medication was prescribed to work in combination with the therapy. I didn’t really care what I put in my body. I felt like I was in permanent survival mode but at least I was taking steps to “feel better.”  I survived. I also self-medicated with marijuana, which seemed to help keep mania at bay and in general made me feel like I could handle life better.

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