NAMI - You are Not Alone — *Trigger Warning*

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*Trigger Warning*

I’m 13, I suffer from an anxiety disorder, and clinical depression, and suicidal thoughts, and self harming behaviors. I’ve been diagnosed, I take medications, and I just feel worse, like there’s something more wrong with me. I’ve told myself countless times that I have some random mental illness like depersonalization disorder, or borderline personality disorder, but the truth is I don’t know. 

I have panic attacks daily, I cry myself to sleep, I have constant racing thoughts that jump around, some telling me to kill myself, others telling me to go out go I don’t know mini golfing or something. It’s like a jumbled up puzzle that I can’t put together I jam pieces together that don’t fit and I turn one piece into two, like my thoughts. I don’t know what wrong with me but I’m so sick of these constant ups and downs and telling myself there’s something wrong with me when it’s all probably in my head, but all I want is for it to come out of my head. Sometimes I feel numb, sometimes I’m really energetic, and most times I’m so depressed and suicidal I don’t leave my bed, and there’s usually no in between I’ll go from being so happy and think I can do anything to having one wrong thought that ruins it all and makes me anxious and depressed and have panic attacks. So I know I’m only 13 and it’s probably all in my head but I’m so sick of the.

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