A submission for November’s Topic: Why support is important

When I think back to the days before I was diagnosed with several mental illnesses, I remember feeling so hopeless and helpless. My mind would be screaming out for help and I felt trapped. I felt trapped because my depression held my brain hostage. I remember journaling often and would write things like, “I don’t know why my life is worth living”, or “I don’t deserve to live because of all the shameful things I have done.“ 

Guilt and shame would override any glimpse of hope I ever had. I felt guilty that I wasn’t living at home anymore helping to support my single mother with two teenagers left in the house. I felt guilty because I would spend all my money on drinking and doing drugs. I felt shameful because I shoplifted before. I felt shameful for even thinking myself as somewhat attractive.

 With all of these thoughts working against me, there wasn’t a hope left in the world for me. I thought about committing suicide often. It didn’t help that I was in a very toxic, mentally abusive relationship at the time. It also didn’t help that my mother was narcissistic and needed help of her own. Around this time, I had no emotional support. I felt I had to do something or else I was going to really hurt myself and possibly end up dead. 

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My brother, Mark. was diagnosed w/schizophenia @ age 28. We’ve gone through a living hell ever since. He’s now 51. You name it, we’ve been there. Hospitals, jails, prisons, group homes, assisted living homes, our own homes, witnessing, reporting neglect/abuse. Our family has been there. I wouldn’t wish it on my own worst enemy. Oh and GUILT! That’s a big one that each of us have struggled with. I hate the disease but love the victim. He’s my brother, my parent’s son. He’s a Father with a son. We’ve found that through it all that those who are least likely to understand are his friends, church and family. Looks like it’s here to stay. It’s a never ending cycle. You may ask, who is this guy? Well he was a first to be beautiful and only baby son. He was a great kid. A joy. Playful. Intelligent. Handsome. He went to school..never failed a grade. He went to college. He got a great job, married, had a family. It all started going downhill in his mid to mid 20’s. I went into mental health. I quit jobs in order to take less paying jobs just to be near him. I spent my social life and enormous part of my life just devoted to him. I’m 57 now. Who’ll see that he’s taken care of when I, his sister is gone? Who’ll do it when our parents are gone? I gave him over to God a long time ago and his abusers will, if they haven’t already, reap what they have sown. Family members have to be their voice for they will never be heard or ever taken seriously…

I finally have time to write my intro. Two youngest are at school and my oldest (Corinne) is with her grandma.

My name’s Amber and I joined the online support group about 3 weeks ago and have already gained tremendous knowledge and support from this wonderful group of moms and dads.

Soooooo, I have three girls, Corinne 11.5, Annika 8.5, and Louisa 6. Annika and Louisa are my NT (Neurotypical) kids. They both play soccer, are the center of their social circles, and can be rationalized with. They definitely have their emotional ups and downs but it is usually due to fatigue or hunger.

Corinne is my beautiful challenge. She was born ten days late, emergency C-section due to chord compression. I had my Bradley Plan and Corinne had “Corinne’s Plan”. Corinne was impossible to soothe even in the hospital. She would scream, stiffen and get herself so worked up if anything was stimulating her. I would have to calmly latch her on and if anything changed in her environment she would become so agitated it would take her at least 30 minutes to calm her and latch her back on. I could not connect at all with her as a newborn. I nursed her and co-slept because I felt these things would help connect us. I can remember when Corinne was 4 weeks old looking down at her and saying “I don’t even like you” she was soooo hard to bond with. I know now that I was suffering from postpartum and it made things much harder to have such a challenging baby.

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I am blind, but also bipolar. I was diagnosed at too late an age to be discussing it, nineteen. I am lucky to have a friend and a boyfriend who both support me, but I feel the pain of many others who don’t have that support.

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My name is John Friday.  I am a state certified peer support and wellness specialist.  To avoid confusion let me say from the outset that I am not a therapist, or a psychiatrist, or a counselor, or even a program specialist.  Peer support is something else.  I am considered a peer, because, like the individuals I serve, I have a lived experience of mental illness.  I, also, have experienced trauma in my childhood, in adolescence, and in adulthood.  With some peers, I share the experience of having been hospitalized from time to time.  My last hospitalization was in 2003.

Of the several different models of peer support practiced across the United States, my training is rooted in the trauma informed intentional peer support model developed by Sheri Mead, from Bristol, Vermont.

This approach to peer support is centered on developing an authentic peer-to-peer relationship.  There are four tasks used by intentional peer support specialists to nurture a peer-to-peer relationship.

The first task is to make a connection; that point where we each realize that we “get it”.  That is, the instance where we touch in our understanding of each other.  It is the foundational task of intentional peer support.

The next task is to respect the other person’s worldview (the lens through which we see and make sense of the world), while at the same time respecting our own worldview.  We are each unique, and as such are the experts on ourselves.  Imposing our worldview onto another person is taboo.  Rather, we explore and learn new ways of seeing each other and the world in which we live.

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As a survivor myself it is a mission and passion to spread the great work that is out there to support the most vulnerable. I am an example.of being diagnosed with a Mental Illness and be productive in society. My diagnosis doesn’t define me. I am a warrior because of all the support, all the support from my guidance counselor to my Doctors and spiritual father Pastor Carlos Franco and the community as a whole. I am here to spread Awareness and to let those suffering in silence that it is possible to be successful and achieve everything through a plan that can work for you. My personal relationship with God is what has kept me alive today and its why I am grateful to be part of something amazing. 

I have been suffering with depression for over 12 yrs. I have been and still am under the care of a social worker and psychiatrist. Thanks to my attending NAMI meetings regularly since June 2014 and the support of our facilitator of the peer support group, in Monmouth county, I am staying positive.

I am 34 years old, a Navy Corpsman Veteran, and a lifelong sufferer of depression and suicide ideas. i am a survivor. I live at home with my wife and our 4 children, dog, and cat named Nuisance. my oldest son is high function autistic, and the evidence is mounting that i may be as well. Please enjoy this poem i wrote for submission to NAMI in the hope that you will know, well, that you are not alone.

IN THE LAND OF SANITY

I strode to the land of humans,

 through the mists of time and tide

I climbed to the place the sane people live

Through lands of the dead and blind

I walked to the edge of sanity

From the other side of fear

And I looked in the magic mirror

The people had placed over there.

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no mental health support no pregnancy support being sexually harrassed in the behavioral health housing placing 7 months pregnant in psh program no furniture in house no support at home im sick and tired depressed upset  out of options my clinic terros dont care or even try to pretend that they have sympathy. Im alone 32 first pregnancy on probation so many demands and none for my baby my life sucks!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have a family member with Bipolar Disorder and myself have been dealing with depression and anxiety. As well, I have been getting support with a prayer group and friends at my church. Doing research and studies to have knowledge about it. God is our strength and can get us through this..