My name is Amanda and I struggle with mental illness on a day to day basis. I’ve been diagnosed with OCD, depression, anxiety, and ADHD. Like many others, I struggle with a variety of mental illness. After many doctors appointments, mental breakdowns, and a pharmacy full of trial and error of medications, my mental status has went from being rock bottom to almost completely manageable. There is hope out there for everyone but it usually takes a lot of time and patience. I am beyond happy with the amount of medical resources that are out there for people with mental illness to utilize, however I wish there were more public awareness. Mental illness is a real thing and many people just believe that people like me are “crazy”, which is really not the case at all. I have a chronic illness that I didn’t ask for. It was what I was handed in life so I’ve had to learn to make the best out of the situation. My illness is no different than other chronic illnesses. If more of the population were made aware of mental illness then less people would be ashamed of their illness and more likely be open about their problems and seek medical help. I feel there has not been enough education or awareness given to the general public. Mental illness is something that is real and is here to stay, so it is more than important for awareness to increase. On another note, I would like to encourage everyone struggling with any type of mental illness to never give up on anything. Throughout my struggles, I have managed to balance caring for my 3 children, school, and a full time job. I’m not going to lie and say it has been easy because it hasn’t been. I have trusted in God and just told myself repeatability to never give up. I could go on and on and on about everything I’ve been through but I’m not because one, you will be reading for days and two, I have found it’s better to push your hardest to overcome your battles and avoid dwelling on things that can’t really be reversed. The best advice I can give is to be happy, live happy, and know that you can do anything you put your mind to. Just remember you can overcome any kind of obstacle or speed bump in life. Yes, it would be easier if the whole world understood our problems, but for now, until there is more awareness, we’ve got to help each other and lean on God and on the people who love us. I wish anyone with any extent of mental illness the best of luck. I can only pray that one day more people will be more understanding to these illnesses.

I feel like an alien, I don’t belong, I don’t want to be here, I’m not made for this earth, nobody understands what it’s like because you just can’t put it into words and even when you can you feel like a burden or like you’re crazy or attention seeking.
You know everything and yet you know nothing, constantly questioning who you are because once you think you know that illness comes tapping at your door and you suddenly feel lost again.
From a troubled past of bullying and being made to feel so small and insignificant, guilt trips, abuse, neglect, abandonment, death, violence, a broken home and self harm..
Nothing has ever felt like home.
Always thinking about giving up, never being good enough, wanting to fit in and be loved but at the same time all you want it to be left alone and not hurt anyone.
Being completely fine one day then losing control the next.
Locking yourself away and shutting everyone out and then when you’re finally alone you get hit with depression and crave someone to pull you out.
Problems with your self image and having to grow up too quick.
Abusive or unstable relationships where they react in a way which triggers the things you try so hard to keep hidden away.
Begging and crying to friends, family, hospitals, councillors and doctors to please just fix me I can’t take any more of this.

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Navigating a world that often feels cold, insensitive, and unaccepting of mental illness is lifelong work, a healing journey with ups and downs that has no end. As a highly sensitive person who has lived with anxiety/depression/OCD/ADHD since childhood, struggled with self-harm, substance abuse, and eating disorders, and is a rape and domestic abuse survivor, I have sought out many forms of therapy over my lifetime, both traditional and alternative.

One concept that I became familiar with in Dialectal Behavioral Therapy (DBT) is having a toolbox. Every individual’s toolbox looks different and will evolve over time. It is essentially a list of our skills and techniques for emotional regulation, distress tolerance, mindfulness, and interpersonal effectiveness. I would like to share some of my go-to tools for self-soothing and traversing times of heightened anxiety/the unknown: 

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Enough is enough!  The challenge of living with a mental illness has struck me and many members of my family, female and male, and today, I am taking a stand. I will be their voice…for anxiety, depression, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder and more. I will not walk in shame and defeat for my head is lifted to the sky. I will not let society put us in a category, define us, or mark us as “crazy” or “half cracked”. We have to address mental illness in our global society and aim to defeat it like any other illness of the body. It has no perspective race, gender, or culture and it comes to steal the joy of living on this beautiful earth.

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I refuse to stay silent about mental health and how it affects me.  I was paralyzed by the stigma all of my life I started speaking out and talking my depression/anxiety openly online. Through my writing I have been able to reach so many people. I remember when I first started sharing, I heard “You are not alone” and it was such a powerful statement because I had felt so alone all my life, I felt ostracized and made to feel that my mental illness made me inferior to others. “You are not alone” soon became my motto.  When I share my struggles and my story, not only do I get the support and love I need but someone else is helped as well by reading my words, it’s a powerful feeling to go from feeling stigmatized, mocked, alone and helpless to finally being a voice for others and getting support back as a result, it’s a responsibility that I don’t take lightly.

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Hi,

I would like to share my mental health history to enable others to seek help and not give up hope. My start of mental health issues started when I was about 17 years old. I had OCD like symptoms and was given medication. I also had anxiety which was treated the same way. Some years later I was told I had attention deficit disorder . By now I was frustrated with all the diagnoses and was frustrated. Some years later while switching meds I spent 16 weeks in 2 mental hospitals.

I became a Christian soon after all this and prayed for relief of symptoms. I haven’t felt better but I try to help others who are struggling with similar conditions. I am recently divorced and have 2 great sons ages 13 and 17.
I am available to help those who need help. I am not a health care professional but I am intuitive and maybe can direct you.

God bless all

Gary kleiner

I have been struggling with mental illness for most of my 55 years on this planet. I have seen so many therapists over the years that there is no way I could begin, to remember their names. My diagnoses include PTSD, depression, anxiety, agoraphobia, ADD, and so on and so on. But that is not why I decided to post my story. In 2010 I married my soul-mate who also suffers from several mental health issues. Every day is a struggle, I am not going to lie. But in 2012 I decided to take a huge step forward and return to school. All the way growing up I was a mediocre student at best. Doing the bare minimum of work to pass my classes. So, when I went to take the college entrance exam I figured well, my idea of going back to college would be dead right then and there. But something incredible happened not only did I pass I ended up being placed in the honors classes. I was convinced that this was a mistake, a one time fluke that could never be replicated. Well I was wrong. I ended up leaving the community college because it became too hard for me with my agoraphobia. But the story didn’t end there. I subsequently enrolled at Southern New Hampshire University in their online program. I am not going to lie, sometimes its incredibly hard to stay focused, to keep my eye on the prize. I only am a half-time student and it is taking me a really long time to move through the courses. But the good news is I am more than halfway there and for most of my classes I receive A’s and B’s but I have had one failure which is why my GPA is only 2.72. And I just wanted to say if I can do this so can you, if only you give it a try. Oh yeah, by the way, my major…..Well it’s Psychology of course with a focus on Addictions.

I want to wish anyone who may be reading this good luck with your future too. And remember you can do it too!!!

Kathy

I live continuously with the uncertainty of my destiny but I strive everyday to change the outcome of the stigma attached to my disorders. BPD, ADHD, major depression and generalized anxiety. I could play the victim and blame others for my outcome but that was only an outline or precursor of who I was to become, I’ve had to learn and establish coping skills to tame the beast. Do I lose control, absolutely! Am I still alive, obviously. The problem with being a high functioning BPD is I am overly self aware of my triggers and constantly screaming inside STOP STOP what you are doing this is insane and unacceptable. Anyone who knows has BPD knows that, that inner voice is not enough to stop what you are doing and go back to the rational way of thinking instead of the emotional.

Just like the hulk, he is always angry. The constant turmoil of keeping the hulk under wraps can be in itself exhausting. No normal person will fully understand the struggle but I want to do my best to explain both sides of the spectrum. The hulk is a coping mechanism, a tool we use to either force real abandonment or test the limits to its last string. If someone leaves because we force their hand it’s just a prophecy we’ve forced to come true and if someone stays and endures are wrath we BPDs need to take responsibility that we are no longer hurting ourselves anymore  but destroying someone else’s psyche in the process. That’s not acceptable and has to be addressed.

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Is it ok to not be ok?

I have to tell myself at times that it is ok to not be ok. When the depression comes at times, instead of fighting it, I stop. Cry it out. When I get anxious, I do what I need to do to calm down. I have coping skills and my support system to help me managed my mental health. Although times are good, but the times that are not so good comes to surface. I get angry with not only others, but myself as well some times. No one understands me, but those that goes through the same thing. Only us that has been diagnosed with a mental health disorder understand each other. Opening up is not always easy as people think. Telling others that I am not ok can bring a lot of questions that we are not wanting to anxiety. Afraid to call in to work again because your anxiety is high. They’re aware of your mental anxiety, you tell them that you have been anxious because of the crowded room they put you in. Plus they add more people, and still expect you to tough it out. Is it really to be ok when its not ok? I understand shutting down, go into that comfortable place alone, and not talking about what is wrong. I promise I know that place all so well. Whether ok or not ok. It is ok! You are not alone at all. We may never meet, but we all are fighting together. We all have a voice for each other! When one can’t speak, I promise you we speak for each other! 😇😀