I was 14 almost 15. I had my whole future ahead of me. I was a sophomore in high school, had a bunch of friends, had a good relationship going, good grades… then over 24 hours it all changed. My little sister who was 6 almost 7 at the time, had said, something that got misunderstood by almost all the adults in our lives. And since she was the baby and told no lies, she was believed by everyone except our mother. Which honestly, is one of the most painful things I’ve ever heard in my life. Knowing that the child I adored could say such horrible things about me. My father was the first to confront me about it. But the reality of it was, it was already a persecution and I was guilty without anyone asking me my side. And honestly after that it was a downward spiral for me. I was starting to fall into that hole.. The one everyone talks about when they feel like they don’t have an out, or see the light at the end of the tunnel. I started spiraling out and planning my demise. I was honestly so hopeless and ready to leave. By the time the “interview” with the detective who was in charge of my case, they were already planning on pressing charges and I was to my breaking point. And from the get go, this case was rigged. They “interviewed” me without having one or both of my parents with me, never gave me my rights, made me think I couldn’t leave the room while they were doing it, started with the process of pressing charges before an investigation had been properly done… But back on track, being at my breaking point, I was asked if I had thoughts of self harm, suicide, or both. I said yes, and at that time, the “interview” was ended, and the detective called in a cruiser to take me to the local facility and admitted on a 5150 hold,
meaning I was brought in by the police and I had no other option than to be admitted. That was the longest week of my life. I couldn’t go outside, couldn’t see anyone, could barely call my mom, and really only had mild interactions with the other people, and got in trouble for talking to the younger kids because of what was going on with my family. So I did what I do best and shut down on everyone, including my treatment team… By the time I was released I had been diagnosed with Bipolar 2, Depression, Generalized Anxiety, Panic Disorders, and Insomnia to name a few.
Skip forward to may (since this all happened in January/February) my first hearing, it was the last day of school, and since I had gotten back to school, my grades plummeted. So I pretty much tanked my sophomore year. I decided I was going to take it all the way to trial, because I figured out I wasnt quite ready to give up. It took well over a year to make it happen but I finally got to my trial when the DA tried throwing me under the bus, my own grandmother tried throwing me under the bus on multiple occasions. But eventually after two days of BS, the judge decided I was innocent. It was the happiest day of my life I think.
But that was 2 years ago when this all finally ended, I still have my battle scars that my boyfriend tells me to be proud of because I won the fight, and that hes proud of me for still being here. I still fight every day with my demons, but I know now that I’m strong enough to win against them.
On September 9rd 2003, my doctor diagnosed me with Bipolar Disorder I . (Bipolar II is mostly depression with some manic episodes. Bipolar I is full blown mania with little depression.