A Place of Healing

Everything is new here

All the masks are down

New people, new clothes, new socks.

And it seems like darkness is my only friend.

My world, my goals, my dream job all seem gone.

They say “it is treatable, bipolar,” but really who am I?

Even amidst all this loss, I find something deeper something we all are chasing for.

My life is exposed, nothing left to hide, raw, tired, and I wonder if I can stay in school.

What will I do now?

But I find the only thing that matters.

The chaplain says, “You’re still a child of God.”

The words I needed.

The night nurse says, “Don’t see this as disarming but an armoring up for what is to come.

The right words at the right time.

I want to give up but the chaplain and nurse’s words never leave.

After 3 weeks in the unit, I read on my wall “my grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

I have lost all control but I keep going because of these truths: God’s child, arming up, and power made perfect in weakness.

Not only that but a wife who never gives up, who never lets go, and never leaves my side.

Instead of running and gunning, I just hope I have the strength to walk around the block.

You see I am not suicidal, but I get it.

Everything is dark; I’m weak, over medicated, and tired.

Still cannot sleep.

But I still have my memory.