I recently got a confirmed diagnosis of bipolar 1. Now all I can see is my symptoms. In the way I’ve decorated my home-all short lived obsessions, mania induced creative streaks, hobbies that I no longer care for, and things that were so important to me now are meaningless. My education no longer interests me. My memories are all poor decisions made while in the grips of my disorder. My feelings all created by or intensified by this chemical imbalance. My thoughts all now seem foreign as my new clarity can not grasp how they could have made sense to me at one point. What am I supposed to do now? Who am I? Who am I supposed to be? Can someone discover this after 15 years of being completely controlled by an all encompassing disorder?