When it comes to severe depression, panic and anxiety attacks denial can be suffocating.

That was me. Denying thinking of suicide not once but twice. That only leads to thinking of trying it a 3rd time and possibly succeeding.

I didn’t want to go to work. Missing 37 days in one year. Using my vacation time, FMLA and short term disability I wound up being a mess.

My Wife new something was serious. She got me to go to a Therapist and Psychiatrist especially after being misdiagnosed. Doctors we’re right. I was sick but not in the way they thought.

My first Therapist, well we wound up treading water, what I call stagnant. My wife asked me the magic question are we okay with that Therapist. I said NO.

So now what. We found another Therapist. We kept the Psychiatrist and we had a good treatment plan. It was time for me to follow through.

Before exhausting short term disability (STD or not) we moved a lot closer to family. Interesting concept ? Hmmm maybe or maybe not.

New place means new start and explaining everything all over again. Hmm good or bad idea ?

After 8 years of going through all this there’s NO magic pill. There’s NO magic answer. There’s NO magic plan.

The only thing you can do is be truthful to yourself and others. Use the illness as a stepping stone not a crutch.

You can not settle. If something isn’t working be honest to yourself and change it. Pills do not work alone. Everyone is different. You have to take your meds, be mindful, be honest, get a good support team around you and get some coping skills.

Coping skills are like hobbies. The more things you have that you like to do the better off you are to calm yourself down and take your mind off of bad things.

Join NAMI and see what they are about. If it doesn’t work for you then change it. They’re a nonprofit self supporting organization. Not every city has NAMI but never fear there are other support groups. You have to do the research.bit doesn’t come to you on a Silver Platter or in an App.

I am me, I will always be me, I have the ability to cope and change.

Dr. David Burns has some good books and some very very good information.

Remember do not settle. If something is not working Change It. Trust me that’s easier said than done. Denial will play a big part in change if you let it.

This is Hard Work. It will always be Hard Work and you have to be willing and able to change.

There are stigmas that go alone with this illness. Freak, Crazy, Nuts and so on. Yes people can be cruel and they would like to shut the door and throw away the key. If they want to do that then you do not need them around. Easier said than done sometimes.

There’s light at the end of the tunnel and that third time will NEVER HAPPEN to me. I WON’T LET IT !

I want to succeed in beating this. One day at a time, one minute at a time or even a second at a time.

NIKE says “JUST DO IT.“ 

So Just Do It. Easier said than done ? You make that decision. I’ve made mine. I’m following NIKE’S motto.