My Son

I loss my son April 29 he struggled with addiction and depression anxiety .he did rehab and told me time and time again that he did not want to be an addict . And he was so depressed at times but then yet so happy at times two very confusing on my end as a mother struggling to get him the help he needed it when I realize that no matter how much help I can get for him but he had to do it on his own . For me is like an ocean with the waves crashing down I think of my son every waking moment 24 seven I know that will be the new me he is always by my side I always prepare for the worst but hope for the best it’s been very difficult no one gets it unless they’ve been through it I feel like as if I am so alone but yet I have people around me . I still managed to get up every day and do my task . I have had four friends that have lost their son either before me or after me I’ve been reaching out to them I hope I can help them in anyway that I can my heart goes out to anybody that has lost a child I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy .