It’s Worth Your Honesty

Ernest Hemingway displayed a great deal of courage to write this passionate line.

“Write hard and clear about what hurts.”

Hemingway endured much pain. He grew much integrity through it and wrote a lot about what he felt.

…

I have a variety of Physical and Mental Health concerns. I am safe and mentally stable; I have been for quite some time. I feel happy despite much physical pain.

I thought following healthy habits was ridiculous when I was a teenager. I would read about people succeeding well with Chronic Mental Health Diagnoses, creating balance and routine to stay stable. I completely dismissed it. Age 24, I nearly died earlier this year, then wanted to fight for my life, accepted the serious medication intervention, and finally realized that everything around me wasn’t out to get me. I’ve been making goals and growing at creating balance and routine. I’ve been making plans based on what is best for my future.

I also wonder what would happen if we all spoke hard and clear about what hurts to each other. Maybe many of us wouldn’t feel like when we express our feelings, we wouldn’t feel shut down. Maybe many us would have more compassion towards others if we listened without giving our opinions or having an ulterior motive.

Maybe you do express how you feel among friends. Keep it up!

Maybe you don’t. At the end of the day, is it worth not talking about your feelings with each other? Where is that anger going to be directed towards when they can’t show up for your birthday party because they are mentally ill? Where is the anger going to be pointed when they can’t visit you in the hospital? The truth is the anger, the shame, and the blame are not to be put on your hurting friend. Be upset for them and for their Mental Illness like you would any physical illness. I realize there is a level of responsibility in any relationship. That also goes for being honest with them about how you feel. They’ll accept your words with compassion so they can help you.

No doubt, they have been suffering and in pain. You may have been in agony watching them suffer. Again, they need your honesty and they also need your compassion. They want to survive this life with you. Whether you are someone who struggles with Mental Illness or not, we are no different than each other and we can all support each other. Speaking as someone who has Mental Illness, I would want to be just as honest and compassionate to my friend. And as someone who has supported those with Mental Illness, it’s not a friendship to be afraid of. Be honored your friend is your friend; it’s worth your honesty.