The Funk

From Broadband to Dial-up, Here I go

I know the feeling, I know

You’re back, dang it – why, why!!!

I push and I push, and try and try

To fight you off

But to no avail,

I am the boat, you are the sail

Asthma of the brain

Mentally out of breath, I gasp and I strain

To comprehend, to keep up in a simple conversation,

So I politely walk away and find some isolation

I am cognitively stiff,

It is as-if,

Someone filled my head with cement

I can’t process, retrieve the words,

Lots of heavy “ahhh’s, umm’s” and “that’s not what I meant”

A case of the Brain Flu,

Who knew

Such a thing exists

Is there a vaccine for something like this?

Vacant and numb,

I feel lobotomized and dumb

I am the Tin Man, that’s who I embody

A cotton head, staring down at a body

I try everything - doctors, diet, medication

Yoga, cardio, meditation

I try courage, I try gratitude

Conscious attempts at a positive attitude

Yet, this thing - its resilient and tough

And sometimes all of this – it’s just not enough

And it makes me feel so inadequate

And my greatest fear is that this is it

This time, the state is gonna’ stick forever

And my baseline, it is never

Going back up

And then it happens –

There’s a crack, a break in the chains

The juices start to flow, the motivation runs thru my veins

My body is lighter, my thoughts free

I am now unstuck and back to being me

My very first psychologist said, “its like my diabetes -

You have to deal with it for the rest of your life”

That was 17 years ago, I am beginning to believe that now