Lost My Son to Suicide

I feel for all of you who have shared their loss here. I lost my son to suicide on Nov. 17th 2018. He was my world too. He was 22 and had gotten out of the Navy just 3 months prior. He went to work within the first week of getting home which he had arranged prior to getting out. He was a “go getter” when it came to work ethic and that showed from his performance in the Navy. He was well revered and well liked to all who knew him and brought a smile to all. 

I still have his phone and computer which give me clues as to his stresses. But he was drinking heavily and I didn’t realize how heavily until afterwards. There were clues and signs but we all just figured he was “adjusting” to civilian life. As I’m a veteran too, I knew there would a time to settle into being home. So we just gave him space and accepted his flaws and over indulgences as just expected adjustments. After looking through his phone and computer, we could see there was more going on than we realized. And, although, we think we have an understanding of what may have ultimately pushed him to do this, we know there was nothing we could have done to prevent it. Dealing with  this kind of loss is overwhelming, but what has helped me most is knowing his faith was strong. He became saved and even wrote a short book, “My Journey to God”. This gives me hope that I will see him again. I have also had signs in my deepest moments of grief. It’s been a very tough road these last almost 9 months now, but I think I’m beginning to understand the new me. The new father of a wonderful son in heaven. If I had only one sentence to give comfort to other parents who’ve lost a child to suicide, it would be this: Remember the good times and pray for peace.