Fully Stigmated: They Cry ‘Mental Illness Pulled the Trigger’ *Trigger Warning*

Most of you have heard about the recent mass shootings in El Paso, TX and Dayton, OH, both of which took even more innocent lives. I live just down the road from Dayton and many in my community were affected. It seems as though not a day goes by when we don’t hear about some “mentally ill” person “randomly” going on a killing rampage and leaving so many survivors to ask the question “why?” All those who don’t have an answer are left saying “thoughts and prayers”!!! Well, thoughts and prayers only do so much. As for the person being “mentally ill”, that label is all too convenient and makes those truly struggling with mental health issues look dangerous even though most of them are far from it. To point out that mass shootings are caused by a “lax” in the mental health system is not only stigmatizing but ignorant and irresponsible, especially when the people responsible for cuts in funding are the very people questioning the “lax”. I’ve encountered many violent people throughout my life and I’ve noticed that the majority of them did not have a mental health diagnosis nor did they show signs of one. They were mostly angry people or just downright bullies. It may be possible that these shooters had a mental illness or disturbance of their thought patterns but to label them so by default is just not cool.
I have a diagnosed mental illness. Does that make me dangerous? I’d like to think not. Like me most of those with mental health issues are not aggressive unless they feel physically threatened. There are many people who are hurting who need help and understanding. They do not deserve to be demonized for a label they did not give to themselves.
I wrote a poem to help me make a little sense of why someone might carry out such a heinous act as taking so many innocent lives. I will warn you it’s fairly hardcore, but I think it is an important message.

Fully Stigmated: They Cry ‘Mental Illness Pulled the Trigger’

They say it’s mental illness that pulled the trigger
But I cry, the real illness is something Bigger

As he walks through the halls feeling the walls closing in
His anger builds well below his skin
As laughter and punches protrude into his soul
An innocent child’s purpose goes out of control
He starts making lists of all the hateful fists
He’s taken too much for one child to bear
All his hopeful dreams have turned to nightmares
He plays video games but prefers Oregon Trail
He says it takes brains to know all it entails
He’s been to the river and read the gospel twice
He knows nothing of the trigger
but at this point it sounds nice
He’s a sensitive loner not too many friends
When will the bullying come to an end
So he checks his list, checks it thrice
Deciding who’s truly been naughty or nice
And he puts it aside and says,
“I’ll never do the chore!”

Then one day there’s a sale at the Superstore
“I’ll take one of those and 10 boxes of shells.
They say I’m full of sin and crazy,
well we’re all going to hell!!!”
“I never thought it would be this easy,” he says
“to clear em all out!”
“I’ll go down in history and show ‘em
what I’m all about!”
So he prepares for the perfect moment
and says with a shout…
“THEY SHOULDN’T HAVE CORNERED A WOUNDED ANIMAL
AND POKED AND PRODDED HIM ABOUT!!!”
As he entered the party and he looked around
No one he liked was anywhere to be found
This was a new kind of school,
different from the one he hated
Here, he felt he would teach them ALL…Fully Automated
As he pulled the trigger
All his hopes and dreams were gone
His life ended in that moment
As he planned it all along

And the real shame of it all
Is that all the lives he took
Were more valuable than gold
or any autobiographical book
Society is shaken by another senseless act
But it made sense to him
when he made that ANGRY pact

So again I say it’s easy to blame it on mental defect
Did mental illness really pull the trigger
or was it willful neglect

The next time a child says:
“I’m tired of all this pain!”
Reach out to him and help
Rather than label him insane.

You might just save some lives.