Frontiers

I must have stayed the course, because I’ve had pretty much the success I set out to have.  I always experienced abuse, but I always knew it could happen.  My dad used to be both helpful and hurtful, and I managed to decide to leave the situation.  I find friendship in my NAMI friends, and I find relief in thought at quiet in my home.  One childhood experience I had was constantly being unhygienic.  There were three compromised women on one bathroom, so we rarely pampered ourselves.  Mom has gotten better since age 18, and she has let me live at home since then.  However, I do find planning to attain a job hardly doable, because I do not have a start.  My doctor thinks I should work, and it is not merely a thought.  I just want to work with mentally ill adults, whom are struggling with my background.  Sometimes, a friend comes when I’m ready.  I have always had friendships very rarely, but I have more purpose now than ever before.  Acceptance is reciprocal, so NAMI taught me to be human and then humanity will look for me.  I have schizoaffective disorder, bipolar type.  Self made womanhood … I agree with mom on everything, just not to rehearse internalize pride, which I learned from my significant other are not true.  Learning how to cope with my parents’ shortcomings, and the roots of those, helps me to route my responses into agreement.  When mom asks me to enjoy time with her I feel good, because I will have positive feelings about my mother in thought.  Life is difficult, but solitude and an open heart make good friends.