The Stigma on Suicide / Self Harm *Trigger Warning*
We hear so many times about the stigma on mental health and how we need to end that stigma. But I want to express the stigma on suicide and self-harm specifically. It’s often the quiet ones that don’t talk about their mental health that commit suicide and participate in self harm. We all need a little more understanding on why suicide and self-harm crosses a person’s mind. A lot of the times they don’t want anyone to know about their scars or their plans to attempt suicide. Sometimes the words of others give more reason to attempt suicide and participate in self harm.
Self-harm does not always mean that a person wants to die. When a person goes long periods of time without any type of release from their mental and emotional pain, they look for something physical to feel. Especially those with major depression, they go for a while without telling anyone about what is going on internally. That causes them to bottle up all the feelings and emotions on the inside.
“You are only cutting yourself because you want attention.” Those who participate in self harm actually don’t want attention. In fact, they try to hide it as much as possible to avoid that statement. Self-harm is already a confusing act for an individual with mental illness. It’s confusing to make scars on your body and not know why you need that relief of physical pain. It’s confusing to have thoughts of not being able to be “normal.” It’s confusing to have a debilitating mental disorder and not knowing how to cope or how to express yourself to others.
“To end your own life is an act of selfishness.” “You would be a coward to want to end your own life.” “What is so wrong in your life that you would want to end it?” These statements almost cut deeper than the wounds that are inflicted from self-harm. But for someone to end their own life is a feeling of loneliness yet peace at the same time. A thought of suicide is to finally be at peace with one’s own mind. Suicide stems from isolating your own thoughts inside yourself while trying to deal with the pressure of the outside world. The world we live in is cruel enough and trying to battle the thoughts in your own head at the same time is more crippling than the statements made.
A thought of suicide is not wanting to leave everyone behind and make everyone sad about the loss. The intentions are never meant to be selfish. Their intentions are actually meant for everyone to be happy that their loved one is finally happy and at peace instead of struggling. A thought or even an act of suicide is more of a message of hopelessness and helplessness and that a person does not know how to get away from their isolated thoughts.
You never truly know what is going on in a person’s life. Instead of making judgmental statements to them just listen and you may understand. Listen and observe the person before speaking to them will make a difference. Those that have thoughts of suicide and self-harm just need someone to listen. They may not speak up right away about why they have those thoughts. If you take the time to get to know them, they may open up about those thoughts. Yes, it is hard to see new marks on your loved one. Yes, it is hard to hear them say “I just wish I was dead” or “I would be better off dead.” Don’t make cruel comments instead reassure them that they are not alone and that you are available for them to talk to anytime. Just take the time to get to know someone instead of spreading the stigma.
I do not condone or even support suicide or self-harm. I am more so trying to lay out an understanding of how some people think when they have these thoughts. If we can all get more of an understanding of why these thoughts and actions keep happening, then maybe can establish some type of way to reduce the statistics.