One of my children has a mental illness called bipolar disorder. His symptoms began at age 14 while in middle school. Our whole world was shook when he came home from school one day and wasn’t talking. He missed a lot of school thereafter. And he’s been hospitalized twice due to his symptoms. Bipolar disorder is not his fault. It’s definitely not something he volunteered for and it surely doesn’t discriminate. Mental illness is very impactful and tends to disrupt a person’s life whenever & wherever it chooses. My son’s symptoms were hard to diagnose in the beginning. He experienced periods of anosognosia, psychosis, involuntary physical movements, panic attacks, and agoraphobia. His story is still a success story though. In spite of his battles with the mental health war, he has persevered and overcome his anxieties, racing thoughts, and fears. Even though he missed a significant amount of high school, he still graduated with honors and was accepted into a 4 year university and granted academic scholarships. He still battles everyday as he would say. But he is in somewhat control over his symptoms, not completely able to stop the mania or the depressive episodes in full, but just making it a “mind over matter” situation and self aware of his condition and knowing that he cannot and will not allow bipolar to keep him down anymore. Ironically, during his last hospitalization, he told the staff that he was going to make state championship for track and field, and he was going to attend one of a few colleges on his list. They didn’t probably believe him but that year he made it to the state championship and placed, and he was accepted into a university that was on his list. So I wrote that to give others some hope and inspiration. Just because you have a mental health condition, doesn’t mean your life is over and your unable to accomplish your dreams or goals, it just takes more work, time and patience with yourself. One other important key to his success is God and his faith. This is what has helped our family through the most traumatic and roughest times. We have learned to enjoy the good moments when they are good and buckle our seatbelts for the ride of a lifetime when things aren’t so good.
To any other parents, please be understanding to your child. Be patient with them, their dealing with an illness that is beyond their own control. They need your support even when they say or act like they don’t want it. You can offer support in the most subtle ways at times, it doesn’t always have to be something big. I know and I’m very familiar with the whole “walking on eggshells” life. Also make yourself a priority to do the things necessary for your own health. If necessary get a therapist of your own. Most importantly, just be a support system for your child, because they already feel like the world is against them at times. Make home a safe haven and a place of peace, not a war zone.
My son’s journey is not complete yet. He is still attending college and still battles everyday as he would say. But he’s been through it so many times, he’s not afraid anymore. He’s familiar with the war he’s fighting and we always tell him that his best is good enough. It was his choice to continue with a higher education. He knows there is no pressure from us. I’m already proud of him for who he is as a person. He has always been a very kind-hearted, loving, generous, encouraging, compassionate young man. He has a lot of wonderful attributes about him. And because his diagnosis is “invisible” (unnoticeable) you could walk passed him or meet him and you wouldn’t even know, unless he was symptomatic at the time and you are familiar with bipolar symptoms.
Thanks for listening!
