I am 51 years old.  At this point in my life I expected to be a successful professional whether that be a small business owner, and executive, or and author/artist.  Bipolar kept me from reaching my goals.  I am fully disabled due to my mental illness and have not been able to hold down a job since my early 30s.  I fear what will happen to me and my family as I cannot work.  I have tried so many different combinations of psych meds and nothing has helped me to be stable enough to work. I get so angry!  I am smart, artistic, a good leader, and a creative innovator.  I have been working on writing a book to self publish and hopefully make some money that way yet Bipolar stops me and I have days where I cant do a thing.  I want to be independent and a contributing citizen but this horrible disorder prevents me.  I keep fighting against it and strive to be who I want to be.  I may have lost jobs, friends, and opportunities but I wont give up.  Keep Fighting!