NAMI - You are Not Alone — My Diagnosis

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My Diagnosis

I plan on coming here to share as much of my story as I can to help others and let them know that they are not alone.  There will be no particular order but do know that I have lived this journey for 43 years and as much as these meds have helped “ground” me sometimes I wonder will i be on them for the rest of my life.

I know that during covid 19 a lot of new mental health crisis will arise but mine began from the moment i was born and from about the age of 35ish i managed it the best i knew how.

I worked but never kept a job that led to a career.  I was abandoned by my entire blood family before i could even grasp any aspect of life.  My parents and others never taught me anything from riding a bike to having a healthy sex life.  I don’t think they wanted me so my moms pawned me off to her drug dealer for her heroin at the age of 3.

I’ll jump around so please do know the gaps will be filled in and your smart you can fill them in for yourself.  I never touched a drug until i was 35 or so and it changed my life.  I was cool, i could whistle, i even graduated college but it was only setting me up for failure because i tried to control it and then it decided to take my brain and make it stronger then what i could handle.

I didnt know who to turn too because when i went to my first treatment i was treated like a pretty boy and the nurse even told me “do what i tell you or you will not leave.” And who was I going to tell because telling someone is what made me alone from the beginning.

See i was forced to testify at 12 on my mom and the drug dealer and my mom told the judge “i had no idea he was gone.”

I was saved by getting an education but something was always hovering around me a dark cloud when i was a good person and still am of course and so are you.

I will continue this but i do hope that you will find peace, brotherhood and know that you to are just fine the way you are.

Hudson 

Phoenix, AZ 

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