Life Is Hard, When You Feel Alone **Trigger Warning**
Hi everyone,
My name is Brittany. I am 30 years old, with a lot of life packed into those 3 decades. I suffer from many different diagnoses; anxiety, depression, PTSD, holism, codependency.
I lost my biological mom when I was 4 years old in a car accident, that I and three others were involved in and she was the only fatality.
I grew up with an aunt & uncle whom had 4 daughters of their own, and sadly lead a miserable life with no sense of belonging.
When I was 19 years old I started my first job. It wasn’t long after that, that my friend had invited me to live with him and his parents. I finally found the sense of belonging I was looking for. His parents became my parents when they adopted me at the age of 23.
My biological dad was never apart of my life, all I knew was him and my mom never got married, she left him after she found out he was sexually abusing me. He was also a drug addict and alcoholic.
When I found my forever family, I also became a daddy’s girl. My adoptive dad was the only man I have accepted as my father. We were two peas in a pod. Mama always said, “if you didn’t know Britt was adopted, you wouldn’t, because them two are so much alike!“
Last year on October 16th, 2019, my pops committed suicide. My world and heart has been shattered. After this occurred, I was seeing a therapist who recommended that I seek treatment for alcoholism.
Since then I have come to learn that I am an alcoholic, and this started at the age of 19, when I ran away from the family that I didn’t belong to, and found my DOC [drug of choice] that I used as an unhealthy coping skill. I used alcohol to numb the pain of my past and to escape from the harsh reality that I did not want to accept.
Five months prior to my Pops committing suicide, I had attempted to take my own life. Not only do I suffer from the fear of abandonment, I also suffer from survivors guilt.
Today I am living in a sober house and fighting like hell to save my own life, one day at a time.
