I was first diagnosed with major depressive disorder when I was 13 years old. By the time I reached 16, a few more labels were added to the MMD. These included borderline personality disorder, bipolar disorder, post traumatic stress disorder and OCD. Fun stuff. Medication was the only treatment available at that time. My parents decided the best place for me to be was hospitalized in the mental health unit of a large teaching hospital. I felt and thought the reason for such a drastic change in my life was for their convenience, not what was best for me.

Little background, my father, a surgeon, was diagnosed with severe bipolar disorder, treatment was medication. When the medication no longer controlled the symptoms, he would stop working and sit staring blankly at the television for about 3 months. At some point, my mother would notice and send him out of town for a series of ECT. He would return from his “vacation” zombie like but after a few weeks or so, would return to his baseline personality. He always had a flat affect most of the time.

So, apparently I inherited the gene or genes for mental illness of one name or another.

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            My name is Jennifer and I am a recovered mental illness survivor—

            I have endured severe mental illness for over half my life.  During that time, I suffered from clinical depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, schizoaffective disorder, and borderline personality disorder.

            Due to the depression, my behaviors ranged from excessive crying to excessive sleeping to suicide attempts.  I felt feelings of worthlessness, hopelessness, and helplessness.  All I thought I wanted to do was die.   But in fact, what I really wanted was help with overcoming my severe sadness.

            During my manic states, I endured impulsive, spontaneous, and irresponsible behaviors.  I felt on top of world.  I felt excessive amounts of energy.  I had racing thoughts.  I had delusions of grandeur.  I’ll be honest.  It felt great to be so high, but it is also very dangerous.  Risky behaviors can lead to much endangerment of self and others.

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Everyone struggles with something in life. Some struggle for brief periods of time and some struggle every day. I belong to the some who struggle every day. Since I was 5 years old I have constantly struggled with mental illness. I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, schizophrenia, depression, anxiety, ADD, ADHD, PTSD, and attention deficit Disorder. My dad, step mother, and Step Father physically abused me for most of my life because they didn’t understand what I was going through and my Mother was the only person in my life to try to help me through everything I was dealing with. Unfortunately I did not trust anyone around me due to how I was treated at home and because I was constantly bullied at school because I was different. Eventually the abuse I was facing at my step fathers house led to me going into a state of shock and I tried to hurt my mother because I was so out of it and thought she was my step father. I was 15 at this point and was detained. 

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I have bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, and anxiety. I have struggled with mental health illness since I was a child and because I was misdiagnosed with depression at the age of eleven, have suffered for quite some time.  I also struggled with alcoholism for a few years, having inherited it from my Dad.

I’ve been on many medications, seen several therapists and psychiatrists, made numerous suicide attempts, and self-harmed. I felt broken. I wasn’t thriving and I didn’t expect to survive. Then there was a miracle. I conceived my daughter. She was born in December of 2008.

I needed to at least live for her sake at that point, but I was still barely surviving. It was the spring of 2015 when I decided to quit alcohol and to go into the hospital because I was severely depressed and suicidal. The doctor changed my medications and a few days before my discharge date the doctor made me realize that I was still in a deep depression. I still needed help. I decided to do ECT.

It was a major decision but it changed my life. The combination of ECT, medications, and therapy have helped me onto my road of recovery. I’m not 100% and I still have my episodes. However, have my treatment team, my friends, and my family to guide me and help me. I’m not alone.

Mental illness runs in my family four generations.I hear voices and see things that are not there which is caused by my schizophrenia.  I have bipolar disorder because sometimes I am depressed and sometimes I am manic. I have PTSD because my biological father was not in my life and my mom could not take care of my mental illness due to her illness. I have borderline personality disorder because every time I get close to someone they leave or hurt me. I have obsessive compulsive disorder because I want everything to be perfect. I am a psychopath because I like to plan for the future. I do burn bridges because I am protecting my innocence and soul. Because of this stuff I am a terrible mom. Yet music, history and my family and animals help me. So hopefully that will help. A friend is someone that knows all about you, yet loves you just the same. My religion also helps me. I have zillions of blessings everyday.

Hi! I have been diagnosed with Type II Bipolar Disorder, Clinical Depression, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Social Anxiety Disorder and PTSD.  I have been in treatment since 1994.  Sounds like a mess doesn’t it? I’ll admit for many years there were times I thought I was crazy. There were times I thought I had two personalities, which I found out I don’t.  Some doctors have tried to diagnose me with Borderline Personality Disorder as well. After reading about it, I believe they could be right about that too. Many of it’s symptom also fit me. 

The reason I am writing this is to say that there is hope!  I wasn’t diagnosed with Bipolar until I was nearly 45.  I am now 61.  I knew since my teen years that there was something wrong with me, but I didn’t know what.  I didn’t know back then that there was help. I didn’t know in my 30’s or 40’s there was help. Mental illness wasn’t talked about then like it is now.  I was ashamed at first, but you know what?  I talk about it freely now.  Mental Illness is no different than having heart disease, or diabetes, or kidney disease.  Just because you can’t see it, doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.   Your brain is just as much an organ as your heart, the organ that regulates your insulin, and your kidney.

I have accepted the fact that I have to take my “psych” meds, as I call them, for the rest of my life. Right along with my blood pressure medicine and potassium for my heart. It doesn’t make me weak.  It makes me a survivor!

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I have been struggling with mental illness from a young age. I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, adhd, ocd, borderline personality disorder, anxiety, psychogenic seizures, and a learning disability. I also am I recovering addict. I would like to spread my story to those in need to show them that the darkness does fade as long as you have the strength to flip the light. The goal is to inspire everyone but if that is not possible I aim to touch at least one person.

I feel for my husband and 9 year old son that they have had to not only deal with me being Bipolar type 1 but for the past 2 years now they have had to deal with me being in a psychosis and very paranoid.  I also have ADHD, PTSD, Paranoid Personality Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder where I do have panic attacks, schizoaffective disorder, kleptomania, OCD, and possibly now split personalities. Ive tried committing suicide when I was young and I always have had thoughts. I have an eating disorder and impulse disorderThere are more but Im trying to not be 302’d.  I was in a car accident because of the illnesses and all the medications my doctor prescribed me and traumas I was dealing with in my environment that led me to get a DUI because of the ADHD med and I got a felony.  I believe the police officer was not trained in mental illness even though he lied on the stand and said he was and he 302’d me for a week. And then put in jail on suicide watch.  I received no help from the community and my illness just kept getting worse and I decided to give up rights to my son until I become more stable.  My husband and I were homeless for about a year and now he lives with my son and his grandma and I live with my stepmom.  We also went thru 2 discrimination cases that went no where because who are people going to believe, a non-profit organization or a mentally ill addict with a criminal background.  Im trying to have faith in my community that things will start getting better for all of us.  My only hope lands on believing that there is a GOD.  

My name is Catrena but I go by Cat or BearCat and I’m 28 years old. I was continuously sexually, physically, and psychologically abused as a child, as well as neglected due to substance abuse in the home.This has left me with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Major Depressive disorder, and a possible Bipolar diagnosis. Living with many disorders has left me unable to work in a traditional job setting. In fact, my disorders have landed me in the hospital twice this year with suicidal thoughts and manic episodes. I am thriving in my own way, however, having become engaged this year, as well as embarking on a long time goal of becoming a public speaker. I have been through Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, EMDR, and psychotherapy. Many days are dark and stormy, but with the support of medical professionals as well as my loving fiance, I know I can be a mentally ill and successful person. I have chosen to be on mood stabilizers, but I love hearing ways that people find to thrive while recovering and maintaining mental illnesses. I am always searching for new opportunities to connect and help other individuals who struggle with mental illness find positive ways to cope with their symptoms and live each moment as a gift. I am here to say that while many days can be tough, living with mental illness is not any reason to feel like you cannot be loved and successful in this lifetime.  

It was never about how dirty the house was or how many newspapers you had saved overtime or the amount of magnets you had on both fridges. It was the draining effect of what your mental illness would bring. What mom was I going to see today? Will she be nice and funny? Will she be mean and hurtful? Will she be sad and kept to herself? Everyday was different. Each had a little twist to them. From bipolar to manic to depression the things that are forbidden to be talked about. Yet they take so much away from people. I never hated you I just hated your illness. I hated that you became mean in a blink of an eye or you get sad within seconds and I did love when you were funny because we could crack jokes but all it took was for one little thing and you’d switch. I never wanted this for you. All I wanted was my mom. Your illness took over and it was so hard to love you. When you knew how to take the wound you opened and twist and dig it deeper. I know one day ill look back and be thankful for all the lessons learned and maybe help others one day, but for now I just want to help you.