Everyone struggles with something in life. Some struggle for brief periods of time and some struggle every day. I belong to the some who struggle every day. Since I was 5 years old I have constantly struggled with mental illness. I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, schizophrenia, depression, anxiety, ADD, ADHD, PTSD, and attention deficit Disorder. My dad, step mother, and Step Father physically abused me for most of my life because they didn’t understand what I was going through and my Mother was the only person in my life to try to help me through everything I was dealing with. Unfortunately I did not trust anyone around me due to how I was treated at home and because I was constantly bullied at school because I was different. Eventually the abuse I was facing at my step fathers house led to me going into a state of shock and I tried to hurt my mother because I was so out of it and thought she was my step father. I was 15 at this point and was detained. 

Keep reading

I first began to experience symptoms of bipolar disorder in my early teens. i was put on Lithium while in a hospital and right away the almost catatonic depression I was in began to ease. From there on in, it seemed medication would be the answer to everything that was wrong with me. For years i was on every depression medication available, tricyclics, MAO inhibitors–when one stopped working, I was simply put on something else. Then things got better and I needed no medication through my twenties. i still struggled with lows, but there were no suicide attempts, I was able to live and love, to work and, for the most part, even enjoy life. Then, at the age of 29 I had a manic episode and my medication nightmare began.

Keep reading

I write to tell my family’s journey with Mental Illness.

Our daughter, now 32, began to show symptoms of Bipolar Disorder (although we did not know it as such) after middle school and on into high school. Lana was a wonderfully happy, intelligent, funny and pleasant child for all of her growing up years. They as she entered into adolescence the “expected” acting out began. It was so difficult to know what was “normal” in a 12-14 year old due to changing brain and body chemistry. Lana’s anger, highs and lows were also fueled by a series of losses in her life. Pets, grandparents, aunts, uncles and two of her best friends all passed away within a 3-4 year period of time. Lana tried to keep and maintain friendships but it was so challenging for her what with mood swings and volatile sleep patterns.

Our family attended counseling together and separately. The sibling relationship with her brother (one year older) was also very dysfunctional. Overall, our family was breaking apart and far from the loving, caring environment I so wanted for my children. My husband and I were at a loss as to what to do. We attended counseling and, of course, were frequently blamed for poor parenting. Lana was a bright student and graduated from high school early. She had begun a local modeling career (obsession) and before we knew it was off to Europe (we had traveled there several times previously and have family there so she was not stranger to international travel and fiercely independent) to try her career out abroad.

Keep reading

Enough is enough!  The challenge of living with a mental illness has struck me and many members of my family, female and male, and today, I am taking a stand. I will be their voice…for anxiety, depression, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder and more. I will not walk in shame and defeat for my head is lifted to the sky. I will not let society put us in a category, define us, or mark us as “crazy” or “half cracked”. We have to address mental illness in our global society and aim to defeat it like any other illness of the body. It has no perspective race, gender, or culture and it comes to steal the joy of living on this beautiful earth.

Keep reading

TO ANYONE WITH ANY MENTAL ILLNESS OF ANY AGE:

(you don’t have to be in middle school)

Middle School’s known to be some of the hardest years of our lives, between hormones and homework it’s tough enough to make it through without mental health and the stigma it so often carries. As it’s impossible to make it through a class without someone making a joke about a mental illness either a friend of mine or I have, I’ve come to a certain conclusion. Teenagers will be teenagers, it shouldn’t be that way, it shouldn’t be an excuse to kidding about things that people truly struggle with on a daily basis, but it is. Sometimes things in life are just stupid, but we can’t let that get to us.

I’m a 13 (almost 14) year old in the ignorant year of 8th grade, towards the end of last year a few things in life went really, really wrong, and it resulted in a series of unfortunate events (no pun intended). Basically, by the time 8th grade started, I had not only experienced my fair share of panic attacks, gone to a therapist several times, but I had also been diagnosed with depression and an anxiety disorder. I had basically hidden from my entire grade during the summer, so as school started up again and I was struck by a mass of indirect insults towards my mental illnesses, let’s just say there was a lot of tears at the beginning of the year.

Keep reading

I moved in with my abusive step mother in 2006 and lived with here till 2014 when my dad died of cancer (i was 11). I now live with my bipolar mom and little brother. I suffer from PTSD, OCD, depression, schizophrenia, anxiety, and panic attacks. I used to be suicidal, but I could not leave my brother all alone with my mother, so I’m coping.

Mental illness runs in my family four generations.I hear voices and see things that are not there which is caused by my schizophrenia.  I have bipolar disorder because sometimes I am depressed and sometimes I am manic. I have PTSD because my biological father was not in my life and my mom could not take care of my mental illness due to her illness. I have borderline personality disorder because every time I get close to someone they leave or hurt me. I have obsessive compulsive disorder because I want everything to be perfect. I am a psychopath because I like to plan for the future. I do burn bridges because I am protecting my innocence and soul. Because of this stuff I am a terrible mom. Yet music, history and my family and animals help me. So hopefully that will help. A friend is someone that knows all about you, yet loves you just the same. My religion also helps me. I have zillions of blessings everyday.

Stronger Than Before

This morning I got fired from my job. I had the feeling they were going to try to fire me after a incident that happened last week. There is so much that I happened, but I don’t want to make this letter long. Just because people work in a mental health agency, do not mean every one knows how to handle a person with mental illness. I am a peer support specialist and that was my job title at a mental health agency. I had some good people that I worked with that really care about the clients, and also was a great support to me. Then there was others 😕 Stigma can be anywhere, but it is up to us to use our voices to help shatter that stigma. Through all that I have been through that I felt like I was crushed, misunderstood, lied on, and thrown away, I was not alone all the time. God was with me, and he saw everything. The strength that I feel right now I just cannot explain. All I know it is no body but God! Hold your head us and know that you can make it through the storm with God👼🙌👍

I have bipolar disorder with psychosis. It is controlled by medication, but what a lot of medication! Although I have been ill for almost twelve years I was only diagnosed as bipolar two months ago. I feel that many labels have defined my problems including posttraumatic stress disorder, postpartum depression and psychotic episodes. I often wonder if the label changes anything about the suffering.

Recently I have wondered about the psychosis. Here is a little of what it was like:

I am elated and the world is a wonderful place to be. There is a sense of magic in everything and I am at the heart of it. Places to go, people to see and decisions to be made. What clothes to wear and why? I create my own clothes with golden material and feel like an angel going about town.  I am interpreting events, yes, I am busy. I am taking notes and have even quit my job. Suddenly my family seem alien to me, they look at me strangely now and wonder about me getting a job. I have left my husband and he is waiting for me to return.  I feel rushes of emotion which I cannot control - I rip up paintings I have made and stamp on CD’s smashing them to pieces. No one can keep up with my pace…but then there is a knock at the door. My parents called the authorities and I am going to hospital.

Keep reading

As many do, I fought the idea of mental illness and medication. At 50, I finally accepted my diagnoses and began the journey towards stability. Learning all I could about my multiple diagnosises and what I could do to help myself I faithfully began treatment, never missing an appointment nor a dose of prescribed medication. 

Keep reading