I have a medical condition that causes mental illness. For years my parents couldn’t accept it. They did everything to ignore it. I wasn’t allowed to go to therapy, take medication, or talk with them about it, as that always resulted in an argument. That was six years ago; now, I have good relationships with my parents, and they support my treatment. I’m taking medication that helps me on many levels, and I see a therapist and psychiatrist regularly. 

Friends left my life because of it, people who shared the same faith as I do left my life because of it, and I thought the taboo behind mental health would drown me. I felt alone. That was three years ago. Now, I have a friend group that supports me, and doesn’t cross the boundaries I have concerning my condition.

Things change, people can be educated, and you don’t need to give up on the people in your life. In May, I marked a whole year on my calendar year in when I didn’t self-harm. Things can get better.  

   I was diagnosed with Severe Depression after self harming in 1988. I couldn’t handle taking care of my two preschool age children without a break. My husband and I had counseling after I returned home, so he could understand that I needed a break.

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When I was 19 I was finally diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder after 2 years of rapid cycling between mania and depression. I had also dealt with depression for a long time, and have attempted suicide 3 times in my life. It has taken a long time to become stable, but after years of therapy and medications, I’m functioning well and have minimal impairment. I never gave up on my dreams, and now I’m 25, own a home, am halfway through nursing school with a 4.0 GPA at the top of my class, and was selected for a major scholarship to pay for the rest of school. My point is to never give up. I promised myself that when I finally put that R.N. behind my name, I will make a difference and help people who are struggling like I did. I will remind healthcare providers that those lost souls need guiding, and not judgement or whispers. Stay strong, you have a purpose. 

I have suffered depression and anxiety most of my life but only began being prescribed medications in the last 18 yrs. After 31 different mediation trials, I have been on a medication combination now that is making a difference in my life. I feel better than I have in years and I never lost hope that this day would come. Perfect? No. Better? Yes. I knew that there was a medication out there and that someday I would find the right one. I found that I could not give up nor could I stop pursuing whatever it took to find the right meds. It is important that if you are dealing with depression and anxiety that you lean on others and or perhaps your religion at times. The struggle has been hard for me mixed with a lot of tears but to be 50 and possibly feeling “normal” is a triumph for my personal journey. There is no “magic pill” unfortunately, it takes a combination of determination, commitment, patience, therapy and the right combination of meds to feel close to free from mental illness. I finally feel valuable, confident and worthy of where I am and everyone deserves to be there. Never give up.

I’ve struggled with mental illness since I was 13 years old. In the beginning I was diagnosed with depression and I was given lexapro to help with it. I took the medication felt no difference and would sometimes remember to take and but most of the time not. But I told my family that I was taking it regularly. Years later after recalling the times in high school when I would take it I would become giddy but not in a good way. I would be overly happy and aggressive with my family members and friends. My junior year of high school my dog who I loved like he was my child passed away from cancer. I was devastated, and then a few months later I broke up with my long term boyfriend right before the holidays. These major events triggered something inside my brain and that was the start of my manic episode. My episode was very public and embarrassing and ended with my getting expelled from school and put into a mental institution for two months. It was a horrible time but I’m glad it happened because if it hadn’t I wouldn’t have been correctly diagnosed with Bipolar 1 Disorder. The journey afterwards has been a long and difficult one. It took along time for me to feel human again and be able to function normally. The first three years after being diagnosed were the hardest years I’ve ever experienced. I’d never wanted to die more in my life than I did in those years, but I began to think of how my death would affect people around me and that stopped me many times from ending it all. I got my diploma and quickly got a job, but then the stress led me to having another manic episode so I quit. After a lot of thought I decided to enroll into a community college. I didn’t think I’d go to college but I decided I wanted to go back to school. I was scared to be around people and I still am, but going has helped me tremendously and I’m glad I decided to go. My mind that had once been holding me prisoner was now getting to a place where I could work with it again. I was able to do things I thought I’d never do again because of my anxiety about it and the more I did stuff the more confident I became. I made one good friend from school. She understands my struggles and supports me. Without her I feel like I’d still be in the lonely pit I was in for years. I now go to school, work, babysit for my family, and have been continuing to go to my therapist and psychiatrist. I now take my medication as prescribed and I feel really good and functional. I still struggle a lot with my mental illness but I listen to my body now and contact my psychiatrist if things begin turning bad. I know things can seem really bad and have no hope, but to that I say keep pushing forward and just take one step at a time. I never thought I’d be where I’m at now, but I’m so thankful I didn’t end my life when I was so depressed. You can make your mind your friend. You just need to be patient and be willing to get and receive help. I wish you all the best on your journeys and I believe you can all achieve anything you out your mind to.

My Fight

I am a 46 year old man who has been suffering from Treatment-Resistant Depression (TRD,  aka, Severe Intractable Depression) for as long as I can remember. I have had a full confluence of treatments ranging from neural modulation i.e Electroconvulsive Therapy, as well as Deep Brain Stimulation; this after trying about every known variety & type of medications and combinations thereof. My TRD is unfortunately very chronic, so the major barrier at this point is fighting to maintaining some semblance of hope & perseverance. 

I’m currently one of 40 patients involved in a Deep Brain Stimulation clinical trial here in Toronto, focusing on the part of the brain called the cingulate gyrus (aka Area 25), where, as part of the 12 hour brain surgery procedure I had in 2013, they implanted two electrodes, one on each side of the frontal lobe, part of “The Brain Pacemaker”…

I’m a former cancer survivor as well, so I know pain and I’m a fighter, but this has gone on long enough that I just simply don’t know how much fight I have left in me. This unfortunately also affects all social interaction, confounding family & friends, who simply don’t know how to deal with the situation & disease. It is a very lonely, gruelingly painful struggle each & every day of my life.

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My entire life since I can remember I’ve struggled with anxiety and depression. High school is when it started to manifest the most, and so on through college and my early adult years (now). Each stage I have dealt with these issues in unhealthy coping mechanisms weather it be self harm, reckless behavior or most recently and certainly the most heavily with drinking. What I didn’t realize was the last two years of my college career into my first year as a working adult was that I had fully developed Bipolar tendencies. It wreaked havoc on my life, my relationships, my work, my finances and especially my self worth. Periods of manic ups and depressive downs had me feeling absolutely crazy. I was reckless, and quite out of control. My reputation was at stake and my life was in trouble. While you may be apprehensive in the moment or not able to help yourself, what I have to share is that when you’re ready, you must. Since getting myself to my doctor and having a candid conversation, she’s prescribed me with the correct medications and I’ve been working on myself consistently. I can say without a doubt that I am absolutely 100% more functional and stable while being correctly diagnosed and helped by medical professionals. There is help and there are solutions! Let someone know you need help, whoever it might be, I didn’t tell anyone except my doctor and proceeded not to tell anyone until I knew my treatment worked. Not every day will be perfect, but It IS absolutely worth it and you can get better and live a stable life. Please help yourself if yourself is all you have. You are worth it and you are able to find stability. You are NOT alone. Brie

When you are in high school it is difficult to be heard. Especially if you need help. I have super bad anxiety and so asking for help about my depression was a HUGE thing. I had depression for two years before I told my parents, and then one day I snapped. I emotionally broke. I was sent to a hospital and almost died. I was put on medication and was told i need therapy once every week. It was mandatory. Thankfully my visit to the hospital was during the summer so no one missed me while I was gone. And no one asked questions. One day during volleyball season I was sitting talking to my manager and he had gone through the same thing i went through his senior year. He told me that one day he woke up and went to take his pills and instead he through them out the window. He stopped taking the pills and started being in charge of his own happiness. Now im not saying to follow his method if you aren’t ready because i wasn’t. It took me a while in order to straighten myself up and tell myself i am worth way more than I was willing to believe. I found new ways to express my secrets without letting myself become “an attention seeker ”. I took up photography. And for my midterm I took pictures that described how low i was at my deepest moment. I left everything go that i was holding on to. I stopped taking my medication. I even stopped therapy. I met my amazing boyfriend that loves and supports me and I realized that a little stress in your life is good. But if it ever becomes too much, take a deep breath and say “I can do this”.

I’ve had an unusually good week. I slept one night and woke up with energy and I started physical therapy. It could be the drugs (prescrip) kicking in or it could be the movement or it could be the sleep cycle adjustment. Maybe it’s everything. Maybe it’s having a small sense of purpose from planning a garage sale and a going away party for my brother all in the same week. Maybe it’s the small boost of accomplishment from getting an amateur personal article published online.

The interesting thing is that you don’t ever know what causes a shift in mood when you are a person who struggles with mental illness. There is no ‘one’ thing. Its not like pain medicine. It’s always a cocktail of things and any small gust of wind could throw off your balance and send you into a downward spiral again. I had two exceptionally good days about 2-3 weeks ago, but what followed was a hurricane of insomnia, unsought suicidal thoughts, tears, and confusion.

What keeps me going and fighting off the seemingly constant suicidal ideation and existential crises is the incredible sensation of relief that comes when I wake up one day and the fog is lifted, for however long that may last.

Good afternoon,

I am in need financial help and or guidance. I continue to run in to roadblocks where I am not eligible for any known assistance programs. (Therapy, medication, housing, food)

38yo Female

1. Disability : Mental Health (depression and anxiety along with adhd). 10+ year diagnoses
2. Relocated to Dallas for Finance career. Feb 2020. 13 month lease signed ($1,800/month)
3. Notice of Employer received PPP funds in April 2020.
4. I was terminated due to Coronavirus impact, yet I am receiving severance on the “payroll” schedule until End of July 2020.

As you can imagine this has been an absolute nightmare and paralyzing me emotionally, needed to get over to the next page in my life.

Is there someone I can work with to help me? I don’t know where to turn for financial help. And will destroy my credit and career if I cannot pay my rent obligations.

Thank you for the guidance. I look forward to your response and next steps.