Coping with anxiety and depression has been a constant in my life.  I’d developed decades worth of coping skills and silently fought my way through, wondering why things always seemed to be more of a struggle for me.  In the summer of 2017, after having 3 babies in 3 and ½ years and outside responsibilities mounting beyond what I could manage, I suffered a debilitating bout with anxiety.  I couldn’t sleep or eat, I couldn’t function.  As I read and studied and prayed and reached out for help, I decided to hope.  For the first time in my life, I discovered hope isn’t just a feeling that comes, it is a decision, an action, a verb.  I chose to cling to the knowledge that things would get better, and they did, and they always will.

Sending love and hope and healing out into the universe.  Keep fighting.

I have bipolar depression. Within the last few days I see my symptoms come back in full force. Don’t want to go out or talk to anyone. Cry a lot.I will see my doc next month however any suggestions in the mean time. Very embarrassed.

My entire life since I can remember I’ve struggled with anxiety and depression. High school is when it started to manifest the most, and so on through college and my early adult years (now). Each stage I have dealt with these issues in unhealthy coping mechanisms weather it be self harm, reckless behavior or most recently and certainly the most heavily with drinking. What I didn’t realize was the last two years of my college career into my first year as a working adult was that I had fully developed Bipolar tendencies. It wreaked havoc on my life, my relationships, my work, my finances and especially my self worth. Periods of manic ups and depressive downs had me feeling absolutely crazy. I was reckless, and quite out of control. My reputation was at stake and my life was in trouble. While you may be apprehensive in the moment or not able to help yourself, what I have to share is that when you’re ready, you must. Since getting myself to my doctor and having a candid conversation, she’s prescribed me with the correct medications and I’ve been working on myself consistently. I can say without a doubt that I am absolutely 100% more functional and stable while being correctly diagnosed and helped by medical professionals. There is help and there are solutions! Let someone know you need help, whoever it might be, I didn’t tell anyone except my doctor and proceeded not to tell anyone until I knew my treatment worked. Not every day will be perfect, but It IS absolutely worth it and you can get better and live a stable life. Please help yourself if yourself is all you have. You are worth it and you are able to find stability. You are NOT alone. Brie

I live continuously with the uncertainty of my destiny but I strive everyday to change the outcome of the stigma attached to my disorders. BPD, ADHD, major depression and generalized anxiety. I could play the victim and blame others for my outcome but that was only an outline or precursor of who I was to become, I’ve had to learn and establish coping skills to tame the beast. Do I lose control, absolutely! Am I still alive, obviously. The problem with being a high functioning BPD is I am overly self aware of my triggers and constantly screaming inside STOP STOP what you are doing this is insane and unacceptable. Anyone who knows has BPD knows that, that inner voice is not enough to stop what you are doing and go back to the rational way of thinking instead of the emotional.

Just like the hulk, he is always angry. The constant turmoil of keeping the hulk under wraps can be in itself exhausting. No normal person will fully understand the struggle but I want to do my best to explain both sides of the spectrum. The hulk is a coping mechanism, a tool we use to either force real abandonment or test the limits to its last string. If someone leaves because we force their hand it’s just a prophecy we’ve forced to come true and if someone stays and endures are wrath we BPDs need to take responsibility that we are no longer hurting ourselves anymore  but destroying someone else’s psyche in the process. That’s not acceptable and has to be addressed.

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Hello.  My name is Jeff.  I’ve been coping with moderdate depression, general anxiety, issues around self-harm, and trauma issues since I was a teenager.  Around age 16 I turned to music and started playing guitar to give me a sense of worth, and accomplishment.  Iplayed a lot of metallica and megadeth when I first started playing.  I ended up at Berklee College of music.  While I was there I made a number of close friends, that I am still in contact with.  I however also began drinking quite a bit.  I wouldn’t drink every day, but when I did I would get totally obliterated.  I was mostly ro compe with anxiety, and to express things I had kept to myself for years out of anxiety.  Ultimately I came to the point where I was drinking alone.  By the time I finfished music school I was self-harming.  The first time or so it was about self punnishment, but before too long I realized that because of the endorphines I would feel ok for about a half hour after. 

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I have been diagnosed with Bipolar Depression in 2005, as a teenager I experienced depression early on. I have been struggling with this throughout my adult life and today. Stress, getting ill, Aggravated, mood swing will trigger it. Getting along with others especially when they are younger than me, when they are being disrespectful toward me really triggers it. I just have the Support of My husband, My daughter, and son. My other family members don’t know how to deal with my condition or how to support me. I don’t understand how that can be. I am making progress with the help from my psychologist, Counselor, and as I said husband, daughter, and son. I finally get to tell my story without people telling me what to do. How, when, where, and what to say. Being controlled, making my own decisions. I get to make my own decisions. I got treated like a child even though I am an adult! I don’t hang around people that try to bring me down. Mental illness is not made up, it’s a real illness, or disease like Cancer. There is no cure, but can be managed with help. Thanks for listening toy Story.

I suffer from depression and anxiety.  I have been treated for it for about 20 year’s.  With trying MANY different medication’s over the year’s has been a VERY depressing in itself.  After being depressed for a full year (which was horrifying) my doctor who I had seen for about 17 year’s and had tried MANY different meds finally talked to me about trying a older antidepressant (MAIO).  There can be many side effect’s if you eat and drink certain thing’s.  After being on this med for about 2 week’s I began to feel better and I have continued to take this med now for about 2 year’s.  I have had episode’s with depression and anxiety within these two year’s due to dealing with my Dad who was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and had to watch him slip away right in front of my own eye’s until his death a couple of week’s ago.  Now I have to deal with my Mom who is 75 and in bad health.  I never thought these day’s would come where I lose my parent’s and it is VERY had for me to deal with it.  I continue to take my meds and I have reached out to NAMI to attend the group’s that they offer.  I just finished my first group session and will continue to attend future group’s to get the support I need to deal with my illness.  I have ask my husband to attend a family to family group. He ask me what it was for and I explained to him it is a group for the family of someone who has mental illness to learn more about the illness.  He said you don’t have a mental illness.  I said to him yes I do the depression and anxiety that I go through is a mental illness  He didn’t act like he was interested in it so I just gave him the paper with the information of a up coming group for families and said to him if you want to go here is the number to call.  With MUCH surprise the same day I gave him the flier on a group that is for family to family he said he called and he would go to at least one group.  I hope he attends some of the group’s so he can learn what I am going through and how to support me and how to deal with my mental illness.  If not that is his choice but I WILL continue to go to the different group’s that NAMI offer’s for support for myself.  Thank you for listening to my story.  I hope people out there with a mental illness search until they get the help they need.  NAMI is a GREAT support group.

I have been suffering with depression for over 12 yrs. I have been and still am under the care of a social worker and psychiatrist. Thanks to my attending NAMI meetings regularly since June 2014 and the support of our facilitator of the peer support group, in Monmouth county, I am staying positive.

 Chris was a boyfriend of mine who died by suicide many years ago. Diagnosed with bipolar disorder but he didn’t seek help. Suicide is much worse than coping.  Surviving isn’t all there is to do, there are many avenues of support. Never forget family and friends, don’t give up because someone else did! You can not change what has happened to you but you can change how you view yourself. Figure out what you enjoy and don’t lose focus on that. If you lost joy, reach out! The worst thing you can do is lose hope.

 Personally, I have struggled from the very things he was trying to escape. The strangest part was when I discovered that, but it was also the most powerful and vital aspect to my own recovery. Just because you have or don’t have isn’t reason to give up! If you’re feeling down and out you MUST find a way to deal with it. There isn’t any purpose in giving up but there is a reason to find purpose. The resources for help aren’t always what we want to pursue. If you struggle, you’ll do best to explore every avenue available. It’s better to try now than regret later. 

This is a story intended to provide hope to those battling severe postpartum or major depression, and/or is considering ECT for the treatment of severe depression.

I gave birth to my first child 5 ½ years ago at the age of 32. I had an easy pregnancy and a strong support network, minus the fact that I don’t live where I grew up, so much of my family is long-distance and much of my friend network at the time was work-based or rooted in my husband’s networks. I’d been a successful, working professional for a decade and married to my supportive husband for 4 years. Though my late father had a history of depression I never considered myself a sufferer. Life was comfortable, normal.

But I didn’t feel like myself after the (somewhat traumatic) birth. I despised the pain of breast feeding and being home “alone,” but plowed through the first weeks with my usual determination, living off visits from friends and family and a few little summer day excursions with the baby. When my daughter was six weeks old things took a fateful turn: my dog was hit and killed by a car before my eyes after I left my gate open following a somber, solo walk with the baby. I didn’t sleep a wink that night and lost my appetite that weekend, replaying the incident in my mind throughout a long trip to a friend’s wedding, cursing myself for this seemingly avoidable mistake that killed something I loved and pained others who loved him.

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