Hello, my name is Angel. I was searching for a way to advocate my mental health and the seriousness of mental illness, when NAMI caught my eye. I stumbled across this and here I am. I would say that I am recovering, but I know that my depression still lingers along. I take medication on a daily, therapy each week. I write to tell you about the blessing that was brought upon me.

In the beginning, I thought the sadness and despair would end, but it just got worse. I remember wearing a mask to hide the sadness, to hide the fear of being judged. And every time I would runaway from the problem, it would come back harder than ever. I could not understand what was going on or what was happening. All I wanted was to get out of the dark, to escape the demons that were taunting me every single day.

I have had a long, tiring journey to get where I am, about four years, to be exact. Although I am in the process of recovery, I have made an impact and immense about of progress through the years I have been under the chains of my illness. It took me a long time to understand my mental illness and realize that it was okay to have such feelings and emotions. I would regret and hate myself because I believed I did not deserve to feel this way, I constantly thought that if I wanted to be happy, I could, but I was wrong.

I was diagnosed with depression in my first to second year of high school, but as I look back, it all begun in seventh grade. I remember the first peak of my depression over me. I do not remember what happened or how it was triggered, but I suddenly felt sad all the time. My mother thought it was a phase, my family thought I was overreacting. “There is nothing to be sad about.” They said, and I agreed because there actually wasn’t anything to be sad about. I remember feeling stressed out about school because I was a perfectionist. I needed everything to be perfect, whether it was school or home, everything I did needed to be perfected, and if it wasn’t, I was be disappointed in myself, to the point where I felt worthless. So, I did what I thought was the logical thing and pushed the feelings aside… but that made things turn for the worse.

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Mental illness and addiction runs rampant in my family. Mostly on my mothers side where it can be traced back for generations. As for me I feel lucky that my mental health seems to be centered around depression. I say lucky because my brother has been institutionalized with schizophrenia for over 30 yrs. I have two cousins who are gone now that also had schizophrenia that lived on the streets mostly and who are an example of the poor mental health care system we have in the US. Don’t get me wrong, their are scores of wonderful folks out their doing great work in helping the mentally ill but the resources they have are limited. My uncle and grandmother committed suicide which is something I have thought about almost daily for many years. My grandmother walked in the ocean back in the 1930’s 9 months after giving birth to her 6th child. PPD was probably the reason but unfortunately back then it wasn’t recognized.

 My history includes lots of alcohol and drug abuse. I look back and see that I was treating the symptoms of depression without even knowing it. Alcohol worked really well and I had many fun and enjoyable times in the beginning although like most alcoholics I drank irresponsibly. Long story short those substances stopped working and the spiral down continued. I am clean and sober now and depression and it’s systems are a daily occurrence. Support groups have been helpful and medication has given me temporary relief but like all the substances I have used, medications turn on me. Lots of anger and thoughts of suicide occur after a short period of taking medications so I gave up on them. Today I use the tools I have learned over the years. Focusing on gratitude is the most powerful. I am grateful my illness isn’t so severe that I would be unable to access the part of my brain that sees normality. Thanks for letting me share.

Dear Tom Cruise: Thank you for slamming mental illness

By Allyson McAndrews, M.Ed.

“There’s no such thing as a chemical imbalance… You don’t know the history of psychiatry. I do.”

 –Tom Cruise

Those words have resonated in my head since the actor publically denounced actress Brooke Shields’ decision to treat post-partum depression with medication almost ten years ago. I must have watched Mr. Cruise’s interview with Matt Lauer five times, each time finding myself more and more dumbfounded. It wasn’t so much his stance on medication that shocked me. It was his tone, demeanor, and lack of willingness for a discussion of the bigger picture of mental illness, rather than a full-blown battle.

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Please help my nephew Zechariah. On July 18, 2017, he was arrested by a police officer. He is 22; he has was diagnosed with mental illness since he was 16. His mom called the police in order to get them to transport him to a mental health facility because he was hallucinating, yelling, and being paranoid. Zack has been prescribed medication for his condition and seeing a therapist, but Instead of the police transporting him to a facility. They beat and tased him and took him to Prison on Monday night. Now they are charging him with assault on police office, resisting arrests, and disorderly conduct. His bail is 100,000; His mom told the officers several time that he was mentally ill, but they told her to “shut up.” #helpForTheMentallyiLL #notPrison Please help get the truth out🙏he doesn’t belong in prison..

My name is Heather, and I’m a teenager from Virginia. Ever since I was a child, anxiety and depression has been a part of my life. I started going to therapists and taking medication at a young age. Thoughts like “What is wrong with me?” and “Why am I not normal?” flooded my brain. It took me a long time to realize that my mental illness wasn’t my fault. I think a lot of people struggle with that.

In 2013, I had an awful bout of depression and struggled with self-injury. I was suicidal. I can’t pinpoint a certain cause, but there were many stressors in my life. I started to spend less time with others and I isolated myself in my room.

Everything changed when I called the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. I called them because I knew that I was dangerous to myself. They helped me calm down and eventually my parents brought me to an inpatient center. I was upset at first, but it was truly what I needed. My medication was changed and I received therapy. It helped me tremendously, and I think being in the inpatient center has taught me how to deal with my mental illness day by day.

A couple years after I became a You Matter blogger for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. I realized that I could share my story. Others who hear it won’t feel so alone. Now I hope to get involved with mental health organizations.

Those who have experienced mental illness firsthand or have family members or friends with mental illness can be voices for those who are struggling. Yes, I still struggle with anxiety and depression. But being a voice for others going through what I’m going through tells me that I matter. You can make a difference.

You are not alone.

Hello.  We all can live a great, purposeful life managing Bipolar Condition or any mental health situations. 

The social stigma of mental illness used to bother me to no end…and contribute to my problems!  I’m over that now, but I prefer to call it Bipolar Condition vs. “Disorder”.  I also prefer to discuss Mental Health vs. “Illness”.

My story in general: 

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I was recently at a dinner with two friends, when we began discussing mental illness and mental health treatment.

All three of us have openly had periods of struggle with both depression and anxiety, but we all had very different takes on treatment, particularly in regards to antidepressants.

“I wouldn’t go on them,” said the first friend.

“I would go on them, but just until I feel better,” said the second.

My take was the opposite: I have been taking antidepressants on and off my entire life, and since deciding to take them consistently nearly three years ago, my life has turned around. I plan to be on them forever.

Conversations like this are not uncommon. When it comes to mental health issues, opinions are often polarized and strongly held.

I understand that antidepressants are not for everyone; many people are fortunate in not suffering from mental illness, and even many of those who do would prefer to have medication be their last resort.

For me, medication is a part of a more comprehensive treatment plan to avoid falling back into the throes of the major depression that I know always lingers beneath the surface of my delicately balanced equilibrium.

I remember what it feels like to be unwell.

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I first began to experience symptoms of bipolar disorder in my early teens. i was put on Lithium while in a hospital and right away the almost catatonic depression I was in began to ease. From there on in, it seemed medication would be the answer to everything that was wrong with me. For years i was on every depression medication available, tricyclics, MAO inhibitors–when one stopped working, I was simply put on something else. Then things got better and I needed no medication through my twenties. i still struggled with lows, but there were no suicide attempts, I was able to live and love, to work and, for the most part, even enjoy life. Then, at the age of 29 I had a manic episode and my medication nightmare began.

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I was diagnosed with Manic Depression and Anxiety in 2011. An ambulance came to me and took me to the Emergency room when I was having suicidal behavior. From there I was admitted to the Psychiatric Hospital. I went through treatment at the hospital for a week and they diagnosed me with a mental illness. I was also prescribed medication and when I was released to go back home I went to therapy every week. I decided to be Homebound for the rest of my High School years up until I graduated in 2012 and walked across that stage to receive my Diploma. Almost 2 years ago I came off of my medication and stopped going to therapy for personal reasons and because I thought I could deal with it on my own and wanted to feel like myself again. (I also didn’t like the side effects of this medication.) Going through the ups and downs that I have over the years has definitely made me stronger, understand others and myself a little more, life, and I am able to cope better at this point. But, I still don’t believe my diagnoses was 100% accurate. At this point in my life I realize I have came along way but I still struggle every day with my confused thoughts and dark times. I know that I cannot continue to do life alone and try to deal with this myself. You have to work at it everyday and there is always room for improvement. I am taking action to plan to get involved in programs to balance life and help others and myself. I want to reach out to the community and help others who deal with mental illnesses to understand who they are and how to pave a path to bring out the best in them and in each other. I also want to educate people who do not understand mental illnesses and have not been diagnosed.

Keep the faith and keep on keeping on!

I encourage everyone to stay strong & don’t lose hope no matter what :)

I also have a powerful weapon to help me through each day… My relationship with God!