My Name is Steven. I am almost 59 years old. I had been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder and Schizophrenia at age 21. I have been ashamed of my diagnosis and kept the illness very quiet. I come from a large family, I am the 4th child of 8. I was saved by Dr Dmochowski. I believed I had lived through the Summer of 1976 with depression.

My Bipolar disorder started in 1977. I started to have Manic episodes and It was like; I could solve all the world problems and people would believe it. Then, sometimes even the same day,  I would be walking down the street at night and see car headlights. I would hide behind a tree so the car would not see me. I started hearing voices as well. These voices were telling to have sex. I do not recall now what I was hearing, however the voices were not malicious and mean. I had no suicidal thoughts. 

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I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder when I was near the age of four. At that time, I was one of the few children with such a severe case. My psychiatrist for almost a year went back and fourth diagnosing me from schizophrenia and bipolar disorder. I was destined to be bipolar, my moms side of her family has mental problems. I was unfortunately the only sister who ended up with this mental illness. But what really pushed it over the already mentally breaking point? When I lived with my parents from up until I was shy of 4, was the abuse and neglect. My mom would drink and abuse. Get mad over nothing and abuse. I guarantee you, we had no such thing as food. And if there was any, it was beyond expired. I remember running to my neighbors houses, just to get away. Now, I was young when I left to live with my grandparents, but I just can’t forgive or forget things. My mom came home from a bar, married to another guy while married to my dad. So my mom left, my dad decided to truck drive, and my grandparents raised my sisters and I. Yes, to this day, we live with my grandparents. I honestly, have never met such a strong woman like my grandma. My grandma is my mom. My grandma was the one who sat there while I abused her, yelled at her, spit at her… She never gave up. She was the one who sat through psychiatrist appointments and made me talk, helped me get medication, helped me slowly get better. I used to bang my head on walls and floors. Why? I didn’t feel pain. But, I didn’t want to live. I was almost hospitalized twice, have taken and experimented with tons of medication to get me better, suffered through liver damage, plus the countless blood tests. I still to this day, almost 19 years old, suffer the state of life and mind. I will forever see a psychiatrist. I will forever take medication. Just please remember. That you aren’t alone. You are worth life. I know how it feels to fight demons that are beyond your mental capacity. I know how alone you feel. I understand the tears of not understanding half the things you do. I understand what anxiety and depression is. If I get too stressed, I have a panic attack on top of a bipolar episode. Trust me, I understand. You are beautiful, never forget that.

I am  the mother of a 42 yr old daughter living with us because of her current diagnosis of Bipolar/schizophrenia/Depression Disorder.  I have watched our daughter slowly slip away from us over the past 5 years since diagnosed ,first with depression, next schizophrenia, then as bipolar.  We had not digested the first diagnosis when her character and mannerism became a public display of what was going on in her head.

At first, she fought what she was hearing and it depressed her, then it confused her, and now she listens to the confusion.  She no longer questions why, but questions us her family.  She no longer listens to her family but feels we have all conspired against her.  She doesn’t smile anymore or laugh.  

Now she doesn’t dress and I have to remind her to take a bath.  Through all of this she has only displayed one outburst which caused us to call the police.  She was in the hospital for 3 hours and it was determined she could be released.  She had no where to go and no friends.  It took 4 more hours to convince her to go to a motel until she felt comfortable to live with a family member and not her parents.  Of course we were the bad ones.  Now back home with us we cant get help because she won’t take medication and won’t listen to anyone. 

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My son Chad was diagnosed with bipolar type II disorder and Schizophrenia in April of 2010. That year while he was attending school in Bellingham WA, after a very scary manic event, he was hospitalized at Fairfax in Kirkland where he was stabilized and diagnosed. Honestly assumed Chad was using some type of illegal drugs that were making him behave so strangely, I’ve been in the military (active duty or reserves) all of my adult life and have never used illegal drugs and have zero experience.  From 2010-2013 Chad was able to work, drive a car and attend Community College. In November 2013 Chad had another manic event he destroyed one of my vehicles, a cell phone and purchased a one way bus ticket to Seal Beach CA with the intent of committing suicide in the city where he was born. Thankfully a bus driver called the State police in southern Oregon and Chad was taken to a hospital and stabilized in Oregon.

In early 2014 I was reading an article while my son was with his doctor about how support groups can help mentally ill people, I starting looking for a support group that my son could attend and I found NAMI. My son has an excellent doctor; I have a wonderful employer with great health insurance and have a six figure income; I believe that I’m a good parent/caregiver: educated, supportive and stable. I’ve surrounded myself with people that understand that my son is ill and his health is my priority and anyone that does not understand that is no longer a part of my life. NAMI has helped closed that little gap between the medical professionals and the tangled web that is the mental health care system in America today. My son has been attending a NAMI Seattle peer support group since 2014 and he told me once after I picked him up from a group meeting, “Daddy, I finally understand that I’m not alone, I do not feel weird and when I’m at group I feel normal.”

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My sister started losing things, misplacing things, moving things, playing with settings on her cell phone that would alter its ability to function, found an old potato in the oven and called it a camera.  The police recommended her family 302 her.  Diagnosis: schizophrenia.  She never took lithium again after 3 weeks in a mental institution.  Since then she has stayed with family, moved into a hotel then got an apartment.  After reading and youtube videos she grabbed the idea she is a targeted individual.  She believes shes a victim of gang stalking, military weapons that control your mind created Dr. Robert Duncan,  the government, police and doctors are all involved.  Her own family is involved. She never leaves the house for fear of gang stalkers stealing her belongings or chasing her in cars.  She has said she doesn’t have the guts to commit suicide.  She is VERY hostile!!  The problem is she suffers from anosognosia - denial of her diagnosis.  The 302 process is so traumatic, she is still talking about it a year and a half later.  We are basically care taking, getting groceries, medicine and cigarettes.  There are very few of us to care take.  She refuses treatment.  She threatened she will kill the next person that 302’s her.  We are exhausted and at a loss.   

hello,

my brother suffer from schizophrenia and bipolar and lately he have been in his ups and down, he stopped taking medication due to insurance no disability benefits.

where can go or can I start the process of him getting health treatment and medication? yesterday was my first time going to a support group and it was very relaxing in the way that we haven’t been feeling because I constanly checking my 

phone waking up in the middle of the night to  check my phone.

but I will keep going to the support group that is for sure

Best,

Margie 

I’m 39yrs old and I have been dealing with many mental issues since I was 16yrs old, I was diagnosed with obesity, high blood pressure, birth defects, schizophrenia, bipolar, split personalities, manic depression, anxiety, and homo/suicidal thoughts & tendencies… I saw many “physiologist” and I even had a male psychologist tell me and my poor mother that I was crazy and there was absolutely nothing he could not would do to help me… I’ve seen soooo many psychologist’s in my 23yrs of dealing with this stuff that have tried multiple medications and therapy that I can’t understand what is truly expected of me. I have also been hospitalized twice for hallucinations (16yrs old)and suicidal thoughts (18yrs old). I still struggle to make it from day to day just doing what life gives me. Currently I take care of my boyfriend (40yr old) whom has M.S., plus help my guy bud whom had his eye cut with a box cutter (put eye drops in his eye), & help my neighbor get home from work. I am proof that we want a normal life and try to have one! Thank you for caring enough to give us a place to talk, listen, and learn from each other that NO ONE is alone in this fight to have a good healthy and decent life with those we love the most… Remember the one’s fighting this crap are trying just as hard to fix ourselves and prove we care that we put out close people through hell without trying to do it..!

I don’t know where to start I’m 44 yrs old I have been diagnosed with bipolar for 18yrs and my boyfriend .has bipolar  PTSD and schizophrenia and I’m not a dr but I know the symptoms from dealing with my own  depression disorders and the relationship  is very stressful I could never get a happy week we also been together for 18yrs and share a daughter together so its very hard for me too give up on him he needs help I’m tired of the verbal abuse it makes me very angry and it triggers my bipolar disorder and that’s not a good mix I need help for  him fast there is no free help in new Jersey for men .

First of all I had ADD since childhood and then I was diagnosed with Schitzoaffective in 2011, a combo of Schizophrenia and bipolar all mental illness has everything to do with stress and your body’s failure to regulate stress, I am lucky I had bipolar part as well Manic part because it gave me the skill to resolve my illness’s in mind by adding beliefs, changing my perceptions to alter my reality through meditation, stress techniques, and energy excercises ie isometrics and other things I learned from the Wicca religion This religion is psychology based its all about Believing in something to the point of changing your reality. I received no help from doctors, they were no help all they say is take the medicine or end up in the hospital, we’ll I got pissed off enough at my situation that I would do anything to get control back over my brain it took a year and two Baker Acts later to get me where I am today a happy cured person able to get my life back together, My Journey was difficult, painful, and frustrating until I learned everything I needed to learn from trial and error, To solve any problem first you must Learn, Study, take Notes, Use Science, Think Reason, Analyze and Solve. God Bless and Good Luck.

And I knew I wasn’t right 

So I planned on going that Friday night 

And I knew I wasn’t okay

Making it the perfect place for me to stay 

See, for most, a mental hospital isn’t a choice 

It’s one of those things where you are left without a voice 

Brought there suddenly against your will

Then before you know it, you are given a bunch of random pills 

But for me, it was where I was supposed to be

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