Donna’s Story
Hello everyone, my name is Donna and I have a mental illness. My illness is Bipolar Disorder II. I was first diagnosed in 2004 when I was coming off a two-year drug binge.
Everyone thought that I was just a babbling idiot at first—until I was sent to the county social services for a psychiatric evaluation. It was then discovered that I had this disorder. I didn’t know whether to be overjoyed or severely depressed. My mind went through all sorts of situations and all of the stories that I’d heard and seen of how people with mental illness were dealt with in the past. All I knew was that I didn’t want to be “put away.“ I wasn’t, obviously, and have never had an episode which would deem me “crazy or dangerous.” Even still, I was afraid to tell anyone at first. I thought that all of my friends and family would shun me because I of my illness.
Now, everything seems to make sense, looking back on why I did all of the outrageous things I’d done. It now makes sense why people thought I was crazy and not thinking normally whenever I’d come home for a visit from wherever I was dancing or prostituting. I could never keep a “normal job” or have lasting, healthy relationship, either. I have no children, thank God, because only he knows what damage I could have done to them. I’ve seen what my sister’s illness has done to her children and I would never have wished that on my own children.
Since being properly diagnosed, I have earned an Associate’s Degree in drug and alcohol counseling and spoken at colleges, (two of which I attended). This came about when I was first introduced and later involved with NAMI. It was 2009 and I was due to complete my first of two internships to earn this degree. I couldn’t get in anywhere, because of my record, to complete the first one other than NAMI Delaware, interning with the drector of outreach there. She helped to overcome the fear of public speaking, especially about my illness. But being me, I took to it right away. I guess I was always meant to speak out about anything that was a good cause. The first time that day of speaking, I was nervous as hell. This was because the audience was made up of administrators, teachers and fellow students. These were people who could make or break my future in the field that I’m so passionate about. It turned out very well. The second time was easier and so was the third.
Needless to say, I am once again ready to take up the flag of speaking out on breaking the stigma of mental illness.