My life-long struggle with major depression
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On November 14, 2012, my beautiful son, who suffered from depression, OCD, and substance abuse, took his life. In October, 2013, I was admitted to the hospital for suicidal ideation and PTSD. I found my son shortly after he had shot himself. After a 3 week intensive therapy program I was able to admit that I have a mental illness. I suffer from Major Depression and Panic Disorder and have for many many years. Only, stuck in a society where such words seem to be taboo, I accepted it as a part of my life instead of educating myself. Had I had more knowledge I might have seen the signs in my son. I know now, and can look at our family dynamics and see, that mental illness has been a issue in our family through generations. I am so grateful for NAMI and all the information, and for the ability to seek help with those that are trying to educate others about mental illness.
Today, I am working towards finishing my nursing degree and transitioning our horse rescue into a people rescue, developing a program for others that suffer from mental illness. There needs to be more awareness so that people don’t have to feel ashamed that there are some things we cannot control without therapy and medication.
I miss my son tremendously, but will not allow his death go in vain. It’s vital that I speak out and help educate others in a hopes to preventing anyone else having to go through the pains I have had to. My emotional sobriety is as important to me as my physical one. If I can reach one person, what I set out to do will be a success.
NAMI has been a huge factor in my recovery
My name is Kay Lynn and I’ve had mental illness all my life. I was diagnosed with mental retardation, but since they’ve done all the researching and studies, it was changed to mental illness… Anxiety Disorder w/ panic attacks; Major Depression; and ADHD. I did have some PTSD and Personality Disorder, but those have been eliminated.
From Hell and Back
I when I was twelve I purposely gave myself a bloody nose. When I was fourteen I got the guts to tell them that I wanted to kill myself so they took me to a doctor and I was diagnosed with major depression. When I was 15 I was diagnosed with attention deficit. Shortly I started doing self-harm and it’s been a struggle ever since but I have not done self-harm for quite a while.
When I was 19 I moved to Portland to move in with a strange guy and I quit taking my meds. I thought I was fine but I wasn’t. Down the road I broke up with the guy and met someone else that treated me with respect. I had been in and out the hospital. After a while I wrote a suicide note and I was determined to succeed. I was at my boyfriend’s house. Since I wrote the suicide not in my blog and I had already overdosed he rushed home and found me on the floor wanting to go to sleep. I don’t remember much else that happened for that day.
On September 25, 2008 I was diagnosed with bipolar. There are parts of my life for when I’ve been mentally sick that most of it has been blocked out. I have attempted suicide 5 times and been in the hospital 12 times. I have been diagnosed with bipolar, anxiety, PTSD and schizoaffective disorder.
I deal with visual hallucinations when I’m stressed or tired or sometimes they’ll just pop up. I mostly ignore them.
I’m not sure what else to say as most of it my mind has blocked out.
Learning DBT Skills
I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), PTSD, Major Depression and Anxiety. I took Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) in 1998 and graduate in 2000 at Phoenix Interfaith Counseling. I was so grateful I took that class. It help me with impulsive cutting, how to set boundaries, Interpersonal Effectiveness just to name a few. It took me a year and half to learn it.
I’m so grateful for Shirley S for being patient, caring and able to talk to me when needed. I don’t know where I’d be if I did not take DBT. The class save my life. I blessed those who help me like Millie, and Mary. We had group after we learn the DBT.
Those of you who have BPD I would suggest taking DBT class and if you don’t understand it have your therapist help you understand. They are really caring people at PIC. After learning the DBT I use it everyday for situations and prevent myself from self harming.
I live daily with mental illness (Major Depression, Anxiety Disorder) and understanding that though I may be different, I am worthy to live life healthy and happy just like everyone else!
Living With Mental Illness
I have had trouble with major depression, anxiety, panic attacks, trouble sleeping, being on a high, and no I don’t mean due to drugs: (I want to clean and clean more and seem to never want to go to sleep), and toss and turn all night! This has gone on for a very long time of my 53 years of life and seems to get to where I do not care if I live or die anymore and this is an all of the time thing with me.
Social Anxiety Disorder
I have dealt with social anxiety disorder, PTSD, and major depression.
I promise it gets better. Every day keep trying, even if it’s something as small as stepping outside your door and looking around and saying “hi” to the people you see outside.
Circles on a Pond
On April 30th, 2013, I came within a hairs width of taking my own life and leaving my husband and child. It was the lowest of lows. I was diagnosed with Major Depression, Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Suicidal Ideation. I’ve been dealing with this since my teens. Medication always helped before but this time it was not enough. It’s been 6.5 months since that day and I’ve been thru inpatient treatment, outpatient treatment and a lot of hard work. I’ve learned to take it an hour at a time, a day at a time when needed. I feel safe and right now and I’m feeling good. This is my blog post from today:
Dual Diagnosis
When I was 15 I experienced a bout of major depression that lasted two years. When I was 17, a tragedy occurred and my depressive symptoms turned to hypermanic episodes. I was constantly riddled with anxiety, unable to sleep, eat, or concentrate. The episodes were so frequent that it seemed there was no end. I started attending a university right after high school, but my mania had taken over. I drank too much, then found my way to street drugs and, finally, prescription medication. I just needed my head to be quiet.
My Second Hospital Stay
And I knew I wasn’t right
So I planned on going that Friday night
And I knew I wasn’t okay
Making it the perfect place for me to stay
See, for most, a mental hospital isn’t a choice
It’s one of those things where you are left without a voice
Brought there suddenly against your will
Then before you know it, you are given a bunch of random pills
But for me, it was where I was supposed to be