I can only speak from my personal experience, but I am here to tell you that depression and anxiety are not always incurable diseases. They are not always physical ailments. And that suicide is not always caused by bad brain chemistry and nothing else.

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My name is Michael, i’m 34 yrs old and I have a history of pessimism, depression and suicidal thoughts. I know tradition states I shouldn’t be the one talking to or for others with depression however I feel strongly that unless you feel that darkness yourself that most points are mute to those that do feel this way also to say to you that “I understand” is in most respects patronizing and it’s not my place bc we are individuals and no two ppl are the same. Depression is NOT some condition you fix with a pill or a speech it’s NOT a disease that can be cured like influenza or the cold and then you are all better, this is a misconception. Depression is a feeling, dark and brooding where light at the end of the tunnel has no meaning, that wherein hope has no place. I feel this everyday and know that won’t go away by magic or medicine though I wish it could however not all things have an easy fix. I am an alcoholic I gave up drinking but I am STILL an alcoholic I can not recover from this there is NO 12 steps I can take and say I am cured it’s permanent, it’s hard, it sucks but it is true. I’ve been sober for 7 years now it takes will power a LOT of will power to say no to what sometimes feels as the only solution to a problem and tbh I still dream of taking a drink but I look at what it did and I say NO MORE… I say the same thing to those thoughts of self harm bc in the end it solves nothing in fact it makes things worse now that DOES NOT mean that you should feel guilty for having thoughts or tried harming yourself but also it means think about why you have these thoughts, these feelings and recognize the consequences of these actions. The world is not an easy place to grow in so many expectations, so much pressure everyone seems to put on this mask of self righteousness and you should strive to be ideal when in reality we are all so fragile and flawed and the consequence sadly is that we see ourselves fall short or are critical of ourselves to the point of destruction. We see flaws everywhere we look in society but hush up bc that’s not acceptable to think a certain way or to be a certain way and that is frankly bull, you are you feel free to speak your mind do NOT hide bc you feel afraid of what may or may not be said or thought by others. In conclusion everyone who may read this in your day, depression is a feeling that we all share from time to time and we all deal with this in our own way… Suicide is permanent once you act theres no going back it’s not romantic it’s not a Romeo and Juliet dramatic play it’s very very real, furthermore it’s not a solution to a problem bc it only hurts it never heals, I’ve had my friends leave me bc they couldn’t deal with the emptiness they felt, I want no one to feel that pain on either end… When you feel alone just text someone “Hi”, When you feel worthless do something you love to do or give your talent to someone and see the reaction realize that you brought joy that is worth far more than words, when you feel like theres no hope, no light, no joy, understand it is all a trick of the mind you may cry, feel heartbroken and it does hurt but nothing is ever easy that is worth your time to do right and that means you my fellow humans try do right by all, find love, find joy screw what others think of you and just be… You hold the power to your future no one else, and no matter your choices in this life learn from them and understand the darkness you feel isn’t forever it just comes and goes reach for the stars everyone and if someone cant reach lift them up so they can. Have a wonderful day in your life no matter who this reaches know that I honestly care and others do too.

Hi! When I was in 8th grade after moving I realized one day I continued to pull my hair out. One week later I was in therapy and was diagnosed with Trichotillomania. For the past 4 years now I have stuggled with self esteem, self love and care, anxiety and depression and occasionally suicidal thoughts. I have been in and out of 3 different therapists and 2 types of medication. I used to consider my hair the only redeeming quality about myself. I didn’t think I was too pretty but I had thick hair that could hold a curl, but after trich there were bald patched springing up left and right. It sucks to be in high school with half of my hair bald. Almost on a daily basis someone asks me “did you shave your head?” or the straight up “you know you’re bald right?”. However, despite hating my hair I’ve learned to embrace it. I used to do cheer and have my hair up in a ponytail, and after a while I just stopped caring that everyone could see my bald spots. It’s not easy and there are highs and lows everyday, whether its relapses or self hatred. I wouldn’t wish this disorder upon everyone, but it has made me a stonger, more confident person, and although I’m not perfect, I’m learning to love myself just the way I am, and I hope that through my story I can help others going through similar things so everyone knows that they truly are not and never will be alone.

Hello, my name is E, I am 31 and was diagnosed with Bipolar II 5 months ago.

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I’m 39yrs old and I have been dealing with many mental issues since I was 16yrs old, I was diagnosed with obesity, high blood pressure, birth defects, schizophrenia, bipolar, split personalities, manic depression, anxiety, and homo/suicidal thoughts & tendencies… I saw many “physiologist” and I even had a male psychologist tell me and my poor mother that I was crazy and there was absolutely nothing he could not would do to help me… I’ve seen soooo many psychologist’s in my 23yrs of dealing with this stuff that have tried multiple medications and therapy that I can’t understand what is truly expected of me. I have also been hospitalized twice for hallucinations (16yrs old)and suicidal thoughts (18yrs old). I still struggle to make it from day to day just doing what life gives me. Currently I take care of my boyfriend (40yr old) whom has M.S., plus help my guy bud whom had his eye cut with a box cutter (put eye drops in his eye), & help my neighbor get home from work. I am proof that we want a normal life and try to have one! Thank you for caring enough to give us a place to talk, listen, and learn from each other that NO ONE is alone in this fight to have a good healthy and decent life with those we love the most… Remember the one’s fighting this crap are trying just as hard to fix ourselves and prove we care that we put out close people through hell without trying to do it..!

Hello, my name is Collin Schulz.

I come across this website because my reality to this point is out of control. I’m not sure if I’m useless or the most useful.I am a few days past what was an awful hospital experience. To flashback, I started getting treated for anxiety and depression around 16. I am now 19 almost 20 and I spent 4 dreadful years worrying about what everyone thinks of me, and if I was ever good enough for my peers. Just recently I was placed on a 72 Hour Hold at the hospital. I felt very happy, energetic, and ready to rule the world. My family thought I was crazy.. my friends too. I have been getting treated unfairly because everyone is under the impression that I am manic, even though I’m just very happy and confused. I have been seeking help for a long while, but now I’m stuck waiting for answers. I have been told I could be diagnosed with depression, anxiety, bipolar, manic episodes, panic attacks, and even ADHD. I’m tired of feeling happy with mental health blocking my successes. It’s almost as if mental health is here to scare those with “illness” away from reality. Your mental illness is only as bad as you let it be. Everyone with this so called “illness” should be looked at as a super villain, fighting against the societal clouds over what is mental health. KEEP YOUR HEAD UP!! KEEP FIGHTING! Storms Pass, you got this! 

I am struggling with my depression and anxiety at this time, I’ve always been taken advantage by friends and they act like they care about you but all they do is use you I wish I had more supportive people to talk to when I am feeling hopeless and suicidal thoughts going through my mind on why should I be here anymore. The only people I feel that listen to me are police and would rather talk with them instead.

I live with generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), and I had a big depression months ago, which I’m dealing with now again, but it’s more like depressive phases now. I have therapy since 2 years ago and it really helped me and still. I also did cut myself before, when I was depressed, and I had suicidal thoughts. Sometimes, when I’m in a depression phase, all I wanna do is cut myself, or kill myself, and I thought about suicide before. But I stay strong and I keep fighting my demons and my negative thoughts. When I started developpe anxiety disorder, few years ago (like 4), I was stressed all the times, I had a sort of social anxiety, which I have not really anymore now, and I became really shy, and I had lost confidence in myself. Also I threw up of stress (so I have medication for that), and I had eczema (still but less). Because of depression and anxiety I ate a lot and, God thanks, I’ve take “only” around 5 kilos. That’s a lot for me, because I thought I was fat and ugly, but I could take mooore so I’m thankful for that. I can do sport and eat better to lost that weight in like 2 months, so I’ll start leaving more healthy.

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Hey there,

I recall having an underlying depression in my teenage years. I developed extreme anxiety and sever depression in college. It lingers to this day and I sometimes have suicidal thoughts. I have developed many, many coping mechanisms and become a substantially more functioning person. Still, it has always been a stigma-and that has been a shame. I’m glad this forum exists to express my mental illness. I also believe the extremely sensitive person that I am-that allows for the mental illness- is also what makes me creative and compassionate. So, I am also glad for sensitivity! My mental illness/symptoms are often good barometers for when I need to make change and take action-so they can be helpful as well!

And I knew I wasn’t right 

So I planned on going that Friday night 

And I knew I wasn’t okay

Making it the perfect place for me to stay 

See, for most, a mental hospital isn’t a choice 

It’s one of those things where you are left without a voice 

Brought there suddenly against your will

Then before you know it, you are given a bunch of random pills 

But for me, it was where I was supposed to be

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