I was first diagnosed with major depressive disorder when I was 13 years old. By the time I reached 16, a few more labels were added to the MMD. These included borderline personality disorder, bipolar disorder, post traumatic stress disorder and OCD. Fun stuff. Medication was the only treatment available at that time. My parents decided the best place for me to be was hospitalized in the mental health unit of a large teaching hospital. I felt and thought the reason for such a drastic change in my life was for their convenience, not what was best for me.

Little background, my father, a surgeon, was diagnosed with severe bipolar disorder, treatment was medication. When the medication no longer controlled the symptoms, he would stop working and sit staring blankly at the television for about 3 months. At some point, my mother would notice and send him out of town for a series of ECT. He would return from his “vacation” zombie like but after a few weeks or so, would return to his baseline personality. He always had a flat affect most of the time.

So, apparently I inherited the gene or genes for mental illness of one name or another.

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My name is Karen, I am 37, and I have had ADHD since age 5, PTSD since age 15, Borderline Personality Disorder since age 28 and Bipolar Disorder since age 31. I am currently on three medications. Its been hard living with all of these. However in last year has been my most successful year because I married a man that deal with all my issues and still loves me. I have more good days then bad. But when I have a bad day it feels like it will never stop that I am outsider and a burden to all who love me. If you wish to know more just ask.

I was recently diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, which is on top of my other diagnoses of bipolar II disorder, ADHD and Generalized Anxiety Disorder. BPD affects four areas of my life:

1.  Emotional Dysregulation:

BPD is very exhausting and confusing to live with.  I’m never sure whether to trust my emotions, if they’re justified or if I’m just overreacting.  My moods are mostly always triggered by something in my environment, but if something good happens five minutes later I’ll immediately feel euphoric. Every emotion I feel is amplified; they can change at the drop of a hat and can last only minutes or hours. When I am in a severe crisis where I am experiencing intense emotions, I will sometimes dissociate to deal with it. It will feel as if the situation isn’t actually real and that I’m watching myself from outside of my body.

I have had difficult controlling my anger and have often succumbed to attacks of extreme rage - throwing things, screaming, crying, etc. It is usually very inappropriate for the situation and I can be very sarcastic and bitter.  It is during these episodes of rage that I am most likely to intentionally hurt myself. I am much more in control of this symptom now with the help of medication, but I still have my moments. I also usually feel very internally restless, like something is missing. I get bored extremely easily and sometimes feel like a hollow shell. I never have a sense of fulfillment.

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My name is Amy and I have bipolar 1 disorder. Both my parents had mental health issues: Dad bipolar 1 and Mom borderline personality disorder so i am genetically predisposed to my condition.

I have had episodes of severe to mild mania followed by depression of equal intensity. Though I am relatively stable on my meds it is still a struggle, sometimes daily.

I’m embarrassed to say that I often tell people I have an anxiety disorder vs. bipolar to account for times when I can’t sleep or when I have a panic attack. Particularly for upper management where I work. I find that people can relate better to that vs. bipolar which brings about images of serial killers and perpetrators of mass shootings. It’s just that bipolar is not well understood and I have lost my marriage, some friends and family. Some people are visibly afraid of me because they think I’m unstable or judge me for times it was hard to parent my kids.

Having said that, I have come a long way in my recovery. I have a great job with a flexible schedule. I’m compliant with my meds, have a superb psychiatric and a solid bond with my therapist. Wonderful friends and family support too. I’m also doing my best to repair my relationship with my kids.

In fact, I am a NAMI Certified Support Group Leader and I can tell you that people with mental illness can get better and manage their disorder. We have good days and bad days but keep hope alive and don’t isolate. NAMI has fantastic resources to help you along. I use them all the time, follow NAMI on Facebook and donate when I can.

Have faith and remember you are not alone.

Amy

I have Bipolar 1 Disorder and Borderline Personality Disorder so self-care is already difficult anyway. But I am learning a lot about myself during this lock-down.

I am learning that I am stronger and braver than I thought; I was able to resist a suicidal thought which is a huge accomplishment as a four (4) time suicide attempt survivor.

So far my self-care strategies have been:

1. Listening to uplifting podcasts
2. Reading encouraging books
3. Keeping my counseling appointments (even though there via webcam)
4. Challenging my thoughts
5. Praying
6. Celebrating small victories 
7. Writing
8. Helping others
9. Avoid watching the news
10. Taking my medications

I realize that I am not alone in this. That things will get better; and to remain strong throughout this whole ordeal.  

If you google it bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder aren’t paired together all that often. I used to think,“Geez, I can’t even get this right!” I had been struggling with bipolar disorder since I was 14 and now they wanted to tell me there was something else wrong too. I felt kind of special when my therapist said a group of people had spent a half day or more trying to decide if I had this diagnosis as well. The sad part was the same meds were used, the was an additional form of therapy to try (Dbt), and maybe I should keep this one on the down low because it sounded a lot like schizophrenia. Somehow through all of this I managed to also get tagged high functioning because I turned down social security, got married, and when said and done there were 5 kids. Oh you yeah, and since every medication would fail I also got tagged treatment resistant. Being in crisis and going to a crisis group was a joke. They would all just look at me like I had no right to be there. I could work, be married, have kids, but I could also fall apart, lose my ability to cope and process, and just want to die. The worst ever was the fact that I work in an emergency room and I brought myself so close to death that it was my own coworkers trying to save me.
I hate that these illnesses are hereditary. My oldest son and daughter are bipolar, while my next oldest daughter is fighting anxiety and depression. She is so beautiful, but in no way sees it.
Currently I am doing ECT. Tell someone that and you get “what’s that?” Or they travel to 1950. I then have to explain that I am not awake and being tortured. It really has been a great treatment. Talk about stigma!!!!
My daughter and I had a conversation the other day about what is normal. Once we were done she didn’t feel so different. Normal is what you want it to be. Being overweight can be about vanity or health. Being mentally ill can be about processing with a different vision or it can be about being crazy. Perspective. We all need to use perspective and not judgement. The world and the people in it are beautiful when perspective is the driving force.

Hi I am Amber Reid I am Black and I have bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder and ptsd. I am also a survivor of domestic violence. I am 23 years old I have been to over 10 hospitals and I have taken several medications. Ever since I was five years old I always felt different. I always felt like an untamed free spirit. I tried to kill myself at least thirteen times but I am glad I did not. Now I am getting married July 22 2017. I am in school in Georgia and running a blog.

My name is Erin Miller. Currently, I am diagnosed with Bipolar 1 Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, Severe Depression, and PTSD. I come from an emotionally abusive and mentally unstable family. The system neglected me and my brothers while we were growing up, leading to many disastrous consequences. It is my hope to change this system for the better through empowerment, education, letters to congress, advocacy, and ending the stigma. 

I earned my my Bachelor’s degree from Dowling College back in 2016 with honors. My degree is in Visual Arts and Graphic Design. Currently, I am seeking to earn a Masters in Creative Writing. I am writing stories on my fiction blog, I have books published, and have interned in art galleries. 

I have been struggling with mental illness from a young age. I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, adhd, ocd, borderline personality disorder, anxiety, psychogenic seizures, and a learning disability. I also am I recovering addict. I would like to spread my story to those in need to show them that the darkness does fade as long as you have the strength to flip the light. The goal is to inspire everyone but if that is not possible I aim to touch at least one person.

Everyone struggles with something in life. Some struggle for brief periods of time and some struggle every day. I belong to the some who struggle every day. Since I was 5 years old I have constantly struggled with mental illness. I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, schizophrenia, depression, anxiety, ADD, ADHD, PTSD, and attention deficit Disorder. My dad, step mother, and Step Father physically abused me for most of my life because they didn’t understand what I was going through and my Mother was the only person in my life to try to help me through everything I was dealing with. Unfortunately I did not trust anyone around me due to how I was treated at home and because I was constantly bullied at school because I was different. Eventually the abuse I was facing at my step fathers house led to me going into a state of shock and I tried to hurt my mother because I was so out of it and thought she was my step father. I was 15 at this point and was detained. 

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