I have lived with depression my whole adult life. I believe I inherited it from my father, who now, in retrospect, I believe lived with bipolar depression and was an alcoholic.  Being dealt this hand in life has given me many challenges.  I didn’t know what was wrong with me, I just knew something was wrong, when as a young adult, I felt life closing in on me instead of seeing what opportunities would lie ahead.  I was smart enough, though, to understand something was deeply wrong and so I sought the help of a psychiatrist and counselor when I was 25 years old.  With the help of medications and counseling, I have been able to have a successful life despite my illness.  But that isn’t to say that I haven’t had relapses and that I haven’t had to struggle with my illness.  But, what I would like to say, is that  there is hope.  And part of that hope for me has been my Christian faith, which has led me through my darkest hours.  I find my faith in Jesus Christ and my church family has helped me to see that we are not alone in our suffering, and that there is a loving and merciful God who understands our suffering. I am now 63 years old and for now, I have found my peace.  I have been married for 9 years, have family and friends who support me. To me, miracles do not have to be spontaneous, but they can happen as small steps we make each day to take care of ourselves and then one day, you realize that you have your stability and strength, and your faith has led you through to that  moment. That moment, that we all long for, peace of mind.

I struggled with Depression and anxiety for most of my life. It got so bad that I could even leave my house for months. There is hope though. I am also a recovering alcoholic. I take medication eat healthy and exercise. Also I found spirituality and it helps me. I use a lot of tools and I can come out of the darkness.

Hello I have a mental disorder but through many years of therapy I learned not to be ashamed and I am not alone also with my medicine I take every day and my support team I’m dealing with life a little better my disorder schizophrenia severe depression bipolar I hear voices but with faith hope strength great support and prayers I now want to live and have a life set goals keep boundaries build self esteem now my worth and always love myself

In my life I have been diagnosed with depression, anxiety and PTSD…. I have seen many therapists and taken many medications, but I am now FREE! 

I’m not saying I don’t still have doubts and fears at times, but I am no longer controlled by them. I have learned how to fight back, I have learned a new way of thinking, and I have grown in faith and well. 

I’m also not saying that I don’t believe that medications or therapists are needed in some circumstances, but that for me, as I believe would be true for many others there was a better way. 

My story to what may have led to my issues: picked on/ignored/isolated by peer group, then rape for my 1st sexual experience at 16. I went away for college where I was sexually promiscuous almost in an OCD kind of way and always with the thought that sex was the only thing I was good for on this Earth. Followed by another rape, this time gang rape 8 guys. Caved to peer pressure with drugs, X, lots of alcohol. Then at an all time low a complete disregard for whether or not I lived or died. 

Over the next few years ..Therapists, medications, marriage, kids …ups and downs of life and attempting to settle for a job that doesn’t suit my soul. I embarked on a new journey that let me to the discovery or rediscovery really, of the power of mind set …. The steps I took to recovery were not conventional and it was not easy, but it was worth it. 

I would choose freedom from unwanted, negative, or fearful thoughts over any other kind of freedom any day. 

It is possible, keep going!

Hi, my name is Ybsa, I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder at the age of 30, but since my teenager years I suffer from highs and lows, all my psychiatrists diagnosed me with mayor depression, because I never revealed my manic stages, until my last psychiatrist asks me some questions that revealed and diagnosed bipolar disorder I with psychosis.

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Faith is what led me here. Faith destroyed my mind and any hope for what I once considered normal. Faith led me on a path of the fantastic, the dangerous, the lonely and the savior. I have been saved by so many people I have lost count and have too much anxiety to even reprocess what I was even being saved from. Faith had me believing that we will not get our happiness, our freedom or our peace until death. Faith had me thinking that I wasn’t faithful enough to be chosen by God to walk his path and be in his light. What I discovered is that I was in need of my own light.

The voices are constantly reminding me to be more of just about everything I am not so I can acquire everything I don’t have, and I can’t lie, they have kept their promises. They have given me everything in the world that I could logically want and nothing that my searching soul has been dying for in need. They swear my need is not what I actually need, but a spoiled brat’s desire. I am tired. I get so depressed that the thought of moving and hearing the voices wake up makes me contemplate suicide. On good days my mania is so high that I couldn’t come down even if a bomb exploded in the next room. I am so happy that I cannot empathize with others, give them the respect that they deserve or even be around people because my energy is so unstable. My anxiety wrecks me and on days like these. I come home physically and emotionally exhausted and unavailable.

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I first had depression and anxiety when I was 12 years old. My mom passed from cancer & a brain tumor. It took several years to get better. I dealt with more episodes of depression too, dealing with some big life changes-a move, dad remarrying and gaining a stepfamily, a toxic bf.. my doctor prescribed an antidepressant and also counseling. Counseling and faith, friends, and family have really been so necessary for me.

A few months ago someone asked me if there was anything good about living with depression.  I answered the question but I must admit that I was stumped by it.  What could possibly be good about living with depression or any other mental illness? After all my mental illness has repeatedly pounded me into submission, driven me to my bed for days, and pushed me past the end of myself for thirty-nine years. I have struggled through the seemingly impossible task of finding a decent psychiatrist combined with the stressful experiential process of figuring out the correct medication regime, and cloudy thinking that is the hallmark of a mental health crisis. Then there is the stigma that continues to cloak many of my fellow mental illness road warriors with a shame that only impedes our healing.  The pain of living with a mental illness sometimes exacts a toll that is too high to pay. Viewed through this lens it would be reasonable to conclude that there is nothing good about living with depression or any other mental illness.  However, if nothing else living with depression has taught me to look beyond what seems reasonable or logical to my unquiet mind.  

I am a believer and person of faith.  As such I choose to view my mental illness through the Word of God.  Now I know that I lost some of you when I mentioned God and the Bible.  Before you stop reading, I implore you to consider the entirety of my post.  I urge you to take what speaks to you and leave the rest.

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I have had an anxiety disorder since I was a kid, but never realized it or was diagnosed until about a year ago, just after I turned 18. I was also diagnosed with depression, which was something I had struggled with throughout my years in high school. The depression started my junior year but I never thought twice about it; I thought I was just going through normal stress and that was why I felt emotionally exhausted and had “too many” feelings.

During senior year, I was rejected from my dream school, Berklee College of Music, and it completely devastated me. Every symptom of depression crashed down on me and I was going downhill fast. As the rest of my senior year went on, I felt worse and worse, not understanding what was going on until my best friend asked me “Do you think you might have depression?” I didn’t know much about mental illnesses, so naturally the thought had never crossed my mind.

After my best friend and I graduated high school, I found it difficult to go through daily life because I didn’t have high school sports practices to distract me from the mental torture. She was there for me every step of the way, especially when I asked for help with Catholicism. I had gone to mass with my family as a child but never really understood it, and eventually we stopped going altogether. But after graduating high school, I really wanted to go to mass again and to learn everything I could about God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. On August 9, 2015, I attended mass with my best friend and her family. It had been about a decade since I had gone to a Sunday mass. I loved it and have been learning more and more ever since.

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And I knew I wasn’t right 

So I planned on going that Friday night 

And I knew I wasn’t okay

Making it the perfect place for me to stay 

See, for most, a mental hospital isn’t a choice 

It’s one of those things where you are left without a voice 

Brought there suddenly against your will

Then before you know it, you are given a bunch of random pills 

But for me, it was where I was supposed to be

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