I was abused by my father and sexual assault at the time I was too afraid to speak and well I started self harming and thinking about suicide..On 11-8-12 I tried and failed to commit suicide later that week I was sent into a hospital and I stayed in there for about 4 weeks and during that time I found out I had BPD,Depression,PTSD, schizophrenia, ADD, ADHD and major Anxiety now I am 15 and for the past year I have spoken about my illness to schools because no one should be judge just because they have a illness. I’m in recovery and I have more self confidence now than ever before…yes my dad destroyed me at age 10 but through the year I built myself up and now I’m stronger and I love who I am.These Disorders and Illness don’t make us who we are..You’re Not Alone I Promise!! Stay Strong 

I am someone who has lost people to suicide and almost lost my self too. I have always been told to suck it up until I spoke out about my abuse. I have been diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and PTSD. Ending the stigma is beyond important to me because if it wasn’t so hard for people to talk about, maybe my teammate, classmate, and grandmother would still be here. I know they were hurting, but I only knew when it was too late. Ending the stigma would save lives, the way speaking up saved me. I have been clean from self harm for almost a year now and have gotten the help I need. There is always hope, even when you feel as if it is the end. Your story isn’t over. I am living proof that it gets better. 

I have been diagnosed with a long list of mental illnesses. I suffer from severe depression and anxiety, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder (ADHD), and Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Out of all of them, BPD affects my life the most. I have had BPD my whole life. From pre-school to elementary, I would cry the night before, the morning of, and during school because I wanted to be with my mother. One of the symptoms of BPD is fear of abandonment/paranoia of being abandoned. I did not want to be separated from my mother because I was afraid of being left behind.

Other symptoms of BPD are: feelings of extreme anger for no reason, a pattern of unstable relationships, disassociation, mood swings, depression, anxiety, impulsive dangerous behavior, feelings of emptiness, distorted and unstable self-image, and self-harm/suicidal ideations.

BPD also affects the way one thinks. They see things only as black or white - there is no gray area. In addition, people with BPD put someone they just met on a pedestal, then immediately drops them if the person says/does something they do not like/approve of. It can be the smallest thing and most times, the person has no idea that they did anything offensive. Having BPD distorts the mind, leaving the person unable to think clearly and logically.

I have burned so many bridges because of my fits of rage, my inability to handle stressful situations, and my attachment issues (fear of abandonment).
I have been in and out of the psychiatric ward at the hospital because of BPD. Every time I am released from the psychiatric ward I am hopeful and optimistic, praying that this will be the last time I will be in the psychiatric ward. Except, I always end up going back. I feel so frustrated because I am taking ten steps backwards from recovery.

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I have been suffering with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) all my life, along with other mental illnesses. I am currently 29 years old. For the past 24 years or so, I was a freakin’ mess - it was before I was diagnosed with BPD. Before that I was diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety, Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder (ADHD), and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
I was given the BPD diagnosis when I was admitted to the psychiatric ward at the hospital for the first time (yes, I have been in and out of the psychiatric ward countless times…thank goodness for Obamacare!) I felt a HUGE relief when I learned of my diagnosis.

The day I was released I went and googled BPD and EVERY SINGLE symptom fit me to a “T”. Unstable relationships - check! Losing control of emotions - check! Fits of rage - check! Disassociation - check! Suicidal ideations - check! Self-harm - check! Distorted view of reality - check! Fear of abandonment - check! Impulsive dangerous behavior - check!

I remember crying the night before school and the mornings of, refusing to take off my pajamas, not wanting to go to school because I didn’t want to be separated from my mommy. This “phase” started when I was in pre-school and continued well into middle school.

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I have BPD and major depression with anxiety features.  I have been in active recovery for a year now.  What do I mean by active recovery?  I am not cured, and by no means able to stop taking my meds or following my treatment plan.  I have worked really hard and with support have reached a point in my life, were I can take a step back and realize life is worth it.  I no longer struggle every day nor is my mental illness controlling my life anymore.  Mental illness is just a petal on the beautiful rose that makes me, me.  It is worth all the effort and struggles.  I know everyone has a different level of recovery, and that is okay.  We are all unique and bring to the world our own beauty.  Never give up on yourself. You are so worth it, even if you do not feel it. One day you will be the one to post about your recovery.  Never stop trying, even if for that moment all you can do is cry, as long as you chose today to live one more minute you are fighting a battle and that is sometimes all you can do.  But you are doing it and that is all that matters.  Courage after all is sometimes the little voice in your head that says, tomorrow I will try again. 

For awhile I have wanted to write this, but I was too afraid too. I decided to because people around are sharing their stories and I admire them for it because they bring awareness and say to others struggling that they aren’t alone. I hope that mine will do the same, this is my story with mental health.
I have changed both physically and mentally throughout the almost twenty years of my life. I learned to grow and sometimes even laugh at some of the mistakes I have made. I can laugh at a mistake, but also be caught up in it and overthink it. I was an odd kid in middle school, I’ll admit it. After I did something stupid for attention, when I was thirteen, I instantly regretted it. People would talk about me and what I did, but they didn’t know that I really regretted it. I couldn’t control what they were saying about me, but there was something that I could control. That is when my eating disorder and obsession with my weight developed.

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I can only speak from my personal experience, but I am here to tell you that depression and anxiety are not always incurable diseases. They are not always physical ailments. And that suicide is not always caused by bad brain chemistry and nothing else.

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Hello there my name is Morgan Choice. I grew up in Syd, but for the last few years I have been living in L.A dancing professionally. Everything for the first year was going well but things started to explode….

The last two years I have been suffering severe depression, OCD, BPD (borderline personality disorder), self harm, trauma and suicide ideation, which ended with my admission into a mental institution this year in L.A.

For some time it was hard to believe and accept that the root problem for all these things could be something that happened over 10 years ago.
At age 12 my mother and I battled through a long journey of domestic violence. It’s took years to uncover details and still 10 years later not everything is clear. There were days I was certain that I didn’t want to be on this earth anymore, but I am truly thankful to have had friends around to save me.
Through this struggle I’ve met an alarming amount of people my age and older who always felt it was embarrassing to speak up. That they were afraid people would think they are weak because they didn’t stop it sooner or get out. But the main thing I believe is “YOU ARE NOT WEAK!!” You are NEVER responsible not matter what, for someone to abuse you. This I believe with all my heart.
During all this I found it therapeutic to hear others stories and set goals to one day help others. A few weeks ago i came across an organization in Australia that provides safe housing for victims suffering from domestic violence, mental health issues and homelessness.

I still find it hard everyday to feel like I’m strong but everyday I try and fight through this with acceptance and patience.

No matter what you’re going through I send you strength, courage, compassion and comfort to fight through and see the end.

I live continuously with the uncertainty of my destiny but I strive everyday to change the outcome of the stigma attached to my disorders. BPD, ADHD, major depression and generalized anxiety. I could play the victim and blame others for my outcome but that was only an outline or precursor of who I was to become, I’ve had to learn and establish coping skills to tame the beast. Do I lose control, absolutely! Am I still alive, obviously. The problem with being a high functioning BPD is I am overly self aware of my triggers and constantly screaming inside STOP STOP what you are doing this is insane and unacceptable. Anyone who knows has BPD knows that, that inner voice is not enough to stop what you are doing and go back to the rational way of thinking instead of the emotional.

Just like the hulk, he is always angry. The constant turmoil of keeping the hulk under wraps can be in itself exhausting. No normal person will fully understand the struggle but I want to do my best to explain both sides of the spectrum. The hulk is a coping mechanism, a tool we use to either force real abandonment or test the limits to its last string. If someone leaves because we force their hand it’s just a prophecy we’ve forced to come true and if someone stays and endures are wrath we BPDs need to take responsibility that we are no longer hurting ourselves anymore  but destroying someone else’s psyche in the process. That’s not acceptable and has to be addressed.

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Three years ago I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder (BPD) when I was first stayed in the psych ward at the local hospital. I added that to my list of mental illnesses that my psychiatric had diagnosed me with - severe depression and anxiety, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

Aside from me suffering the most with PTSD, I also struggle with BPD. Once I learned of my diagnosis, I researched it as much as I could - I asked mental health professionals about it, Googled it and read just about every article, and bought books about it. I realized I had suffered from BPD since I was in pre-school. The symptoms of BPD fit me perfectly. I had a fear of abandonment, extreme mood swings, self-harm, suicidal behavior, disassociation, random fits of rage, dangerous impulsive behavior, isolation, and a history and pattern of unstable relationships.

My parents have been nothing but understanding, compassionate, and have made a treatment plan for me (just in case I hit rock bottom). They ordered books off of Amazon about how to deal with people with BPD and studied up on it. Prior to my hospitalization in the psych ward, I avoided telling my parents how I was feeling and would cope by self-harm. Now, I talk to them when I am feeling suicidal, worthless, ugly, and like I don’t deserve to be alive. During these times, they stay close to me without suffocating me and patiently listen to me whenever I had something to say.

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