I hate mental illness. It has robbed me of the man I love. As he goes through active mania, depression, anxiety, suicide, or drug addiction, I can only watch and sit in pain, silently. I hurt!!!! I hurt because he becomes consumed with trying to find silence in his head. He seeks comfort from outside of himself, which is nothing but destruction.

I just recently found the family meetings and the family to family 12 week class. I went to my first group meeting last night. It was so wonderful to listen to others talk my story. I was able to talk my story and they got it, no judgment. I wish this would have been something available a long time ago. Maybe things could have been different for us. I would of been better educated on the illness. I would of learned the difference and how to love HIM and help the disease without judgment, control or anger.

See we have been married 21 years, we have been inseparable for 23 years. He left 8 months ago on a whim. I was used to that because he would just come up missing for weeks and not know where he had been. I would get a call from an institution or police department to come and take care of the situation. He always came back home. I miss my best friend, my lover, partner, father of our children. We still see each other and talk. But he is cycling again and pushing me away, harder than he ever has before. He says he doesn’t want to hurt me anymore, but it still does.

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I have been going thru Major Depression and Psychosis since 1997. I have been practicing Kundalini Yoga and Meditation with chanting manthras  and it has guided me al these days. I had several years of collapse in my life and family and career. Government helped me with the programs to 40% of my all my problems. other 60 % with the help of God and yoga. In the recent months, I added crystals in a grid to my sturggle and you know what. that helped me even more dramatically with my psymptoms healing  and coping with it effectively. I share this info so people can benefit from yoga, Kundalini and crystals for healing. these are all divine helps adn I need to share that with you. I am happy that I am sharing that info with you and you may contact me with questions. i will be glad to help you. Thanks adn spread the news around with the ones with needs for help.

You don’t know my husband you just see what you want to see. You don’t see an intelligent man who served his country who’s lost his lively hood and almost his family due to mental illness. You don’t see his family who struggle to cope at times when life is out of control. See what you want to see, look away, feel threatened when there is nothing to threatened about. People are broken and sometimes in life it’s hard to get up and put yourself together. Everyone needs understanding, a kind word and nice gesture. There are miracles. Sometimes they are hard to find but they happen they did for me. Be a friend to someone, volunteer your time. 

I have witnessed mental illness in my family first hand. Although my family tries to keep it quiet and is in denial! I grew up in a family of secrets, like most, mental illness is a hush hush secret. Don’t spill the beans or you’re an outcast. I grew up in a living hell. My mother has a narcissistic personality disorder and my father has ocd, and liked to micro manage. My father was also an alcoholic and was also a sex addict. Parents had a son who developed paranoid schizophrenia, One day my father touched my sister inappropriately. To the outside world, we appear normal, the inner most workings of the family dynamics behind closed doors is well hidden, very, very, well hidden. Don’t upset the apple cart. Because I am strong, I was nominated to be the guarding of my mentally ill brother, this happens to the black sheep of a maternal narcissistic mother. I struggle greatly with relationships, my mother hogged the limelight and couldn’t love. I often read the book, will I ever be good enough, this seems to help me to heal from all the trauma and dysfunctional I lived through and the county would do nothing to help. You out there, you are not alone! Be strong and speak up about the awareness of mental illness, please!!!

Many illnesses are hereditary and mental illness is one of them. Most people who are members of NAMI have someone in their family whose mental illness did not have a good outcome. My mother committed suicide when I was 17. Mental illness is controllable with the right therapy and meds though it takes time. You don’t have to listen to people who say “You will end up like him/her!"  If you have ANY kind of hereditary illness check with the doctor.

Some thoughts about mental illness from a person with M.I. and also a person who is the parent of a person with M.I. I will be abbreviating M.I. for mental illness.

A person with M.I. is not ‘demon possessed’. This is cruel to say this to the parent of an M.I. person. I was told, ‘I’m praying for ’M’, that he would be healed of his demon possession’. 

For real? This made me feel very hurt, offended, etc. It had the effect of revving up my own M.I. with depression and anxiety. When a person is a Christian and a believer they can’t be demon possessed. Since both ’M’ and I are believers and have accepted Jesus as our Savior, we have both been prayed over and anointed with oil. We aren’t demon possessed.

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Hi I have a few family members that have been dealing with a mental illness for sometime. I did not understand at first but when my child told me she experienced some sort of mental illness I thought what did I do wrong. And because she was studying on the medical field she researched her issues and educated her and I on mental illness. Now I am okay with it and everywhere I go I usually encounter and talked with someone who has some sort of mental illness. God is good because of how he loves and cares for us. He chooses people that have a very patient and caring heart to help support those that have a type of illness. Just stay prayerful and know that it is about them and not you.

My daughter has been diagnosed with mental illness since she was 15 years old, it has been a struggle fighting with courts, hospital’s, doctor’s, jail’s prison’s, and finally finding just this year a probation and parole officer who listened to me concerning outpatient commitment instead of prison time. It is working out wonderful and she is finally holding a job and taking her medications, and doing well on probation/parole. 

What is it like having mental illness?
It’s like being afraid to tell your family in fear of judgement. It’s like being afraid of telling your friends afraid they might think you’re overreacting because you have masked it so well.
I’ve been questioned why I need to see a therapist or have mental illness when I “have a good life”. I’ve had two of my best friends tell me I do not have anxiety. I’ve had unanswered calls to doctors and have had to fight for help, mentally and physically.
I’ve been called shady because my social anxiety makes me cancel plans and not text back for days…
What it’s like in my head?
Planning what to say when you know you are going to see a friend.
Not listening to half a sentence said because of your overwhelming thoughts and trying so hard to focus and remain calm.
Hiding in the bathroom during a girls night and saying you are sick and need to go home.
Thinking everyone hates you and thinks you are weird and stupid.
It’s pulling your hair out when you are sitting alone in your living room, it’s picking at your face in the bathroom, it’s chewing on your cheeks until it hurts, and then it hurts some more because you can’t stop.
It’s thinking you are not enough and that everyone is better than you.
It’s going through years and years thinking you are the only one, feeling isolated and traumatized.
Someone once told me I was afraid of everything, people have told me I’m weird or shy but yet I can’t have mental illness because I am married to a great man and have a beautiful child.
What I want more than anything is to be free of my symptoms, I am grateful for my family and the things I have every moment I am alive.