I’ve suffered (and still have) a good load of mental problems. Anxiety (mainly social anxiety), technology dependency, depression, thoughts of self-harm, and very likely PMDD and RSD (Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria) all have taken a grasp on me. All of what I’ll be saying is on what it was like as a preteen and young teen for me, so that younger ones will know that there is help. So, here’s my story.
I must admit, it was mainly my technology obsession that made my mental health issues worse (I was born with anxiety). With added social anxiety later in my life (around 9) I took to message boards and online role-plays to fill in that gap in my social life. As I grew on, I made more friends online than I had in real life, so I kept on those boards. Soon, that was all my life- just my online persona. My grades slightly slipped. I avoided all real-life social events and even would deny doing ten-minute activities if I could not be on my laptop doing it. When my parents would take my laptop away or ask me to do something else I would spiral into this unstoppable beast of depression and hate, hate for myself and for the world. I would sometimes lock myself into my bedroom with a knife (not like a butter knife- full on butcher knife) with my laptop and imagine harming myself with the knife, often holding it up against my skin, but never actually slicing anything. Soon my parents got me into therapy the moment I made verbal self-harm threats (they had no idea of the full extent of the problem until then). I met this amazing woman, who we will call In. In was exactly what I needed as a mentally ill youth. We spent the first sessions getting to know each other- playing board games, asking each other questions, all of that. Then we started talking about treatment. I found it hard to talk to In about my problems, but she was patient with me and worked through my treatment. While she didn’t automatically cure my problems (for example, we had to make an emergency appointment once with In because I began threatening suicide), she was the best helper I could ask for. Eventually, with some lifestyle changes, support and social advice, I was once a happy girl again. While I still deal with some problems rooting from my mental health, I am much better off than what I would’ve been if I never got help.
What I’m saying here is that there IS help out there. To any youth reading this who suspects that they may have mental issues, speak up about it. No matter how embarrassing it feels, getting help is the best option for you if there is a problem. If my parents hadn’t gotten me help the moment they noticed the full size of my situation, I might not being posting this right now. My only personal advice is to avoid using technology to cope- it’ll backfire on you, likely. Still, there is hope for mentally troubled youth. Be open about your feelings. It may just help you in more ways than one.
