My struggle with bipolar disorder…
I say my struggle because that’s what it has been for the past 13 years. I recently read another person’s story who was diagnosed just a few years before me in 1995. I was diagnosed “officially” in 2001/2002 after my mother died.
I didn’t suffer any trauma or abuse. I wasn’t an alcoholic.
The death of my mother was my triggering event.
What should have been “normal” grief over the loss of my mother took on a life of its own.
I went to see my first psychiatrist in December 2001.
And I even shared with him my family history..thinking that it might be relevant that my father had been diagnosed manic-depressive late in life at the age of 48.
The psychiatrist then prescribed an anti-depressant.
Now, if one doesn’t have the predisposition for bipolar disorder that might have been sufficient…
By mid March I was bouncing off the walls, literally in a full blown manic episode.
And I can remember returning to that psychiatrists office and asking what now?
And this was his answer to me: rather then put me on a mood stabilizer which was what I needed and which were available at the time he said that he was going to take me off the antidepressant and that he wanted to see what was going to happen.
He went on to say that 2 things were possible. First, I could level out. Second I might bottom out.
I bottomed out.
I also switched psychiatrists.
Since I didn’t appreciate the lack of professionalism and the game of Russian roulette that the first psychiatrist decided to play with my so called life.