Finding Adequacy
The journey of life with mental illness is difficult at times. There are high days as well as low days. What makes the journey all the more complicated is raising a child with the same journey to face. In 2011, my daughter began showing signs of mental illness. I wanted to deny the possibility, as I know all too well the challenges that come with a diagnosis. I know the trial and error of medication. I know the feelings if isolation. I know the pain. In 2012, my teen daughter was diagnosed with depression and ADHD. She also was given a Bipolar diagnosis. The pain that struck me was overwhelming. I found solace in prayer and meditation. I assumed more time in church would help her cope, but it did not. She ran away, began cutting, began fabricating traumas, and much more. While all of this was occurring, I took custody of my niece. My niece was unfamiliar with mental illness and learned to see beyond my daughter’s issues. As the mentally ill mother of a mentally ill child, I often feel inadequate for the task at hand. I had to gain control of my issues in order to learn to cope with hers. I have to maintain my stability in order to give her stability. As much as I love working, I rarely can, because issues come up often with my daughter and I have only had 2 understanding employers, one being a family member. Any mentally ill parent of a mentally ill child has to maintain thier mental health, because a wounded warrior rarely leads another wounded warrior to safety.