I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder when I was near the age of four. At that time, I was one of the few children with such a severe case. My psychiatrist for almost a year went back and fourth diagnosing me from schizophrenia and bipolar disorder. I was destined to be bipolar, my moms side of her family has mental problems. I was unfortunately the only sister who ended up with this mental illness. But what really pushed it over the already mentally breaking point? When I lived with my parents from up until I was shy of 4, was the abuse and neglect. My mom would drink and abuse. Get mad over nothing and abuse. I guarantee you, we had no such thing as food. And if there was any, it was beyond expired. I remember running to my neighbors houses, just to get away. Now, I was young when I left to live with my grandparents, but I just can’t forgive or forget things. My mom came home from a bar, married to another guy while married to my dad. So my mom left, my dad decided to truck drive, and my grandparents raised my sisters and I. Yes, to this day, we live with my grandparents. I honestly, have never met such a strong woman like my grandma. My grandma is my mom. My grandma was the one who sat there while I abused her, yelled at her, spit at her… She never gave up. She was the one who sat through psychiatrist appointments and made me talk, helped me get medication, helped me slowly get better. I used to bang my head on walls and floors. Why? I didn’t feel pain. But, I didn’t want to live. I was almost hospitalized twice, have taken and experimented with tons of medication to get me better, suffered through liver damage, plus the countless blood tests. I still to this day, almost 19 years old, suffer the state of life and mind. I will forever see a psychiatrist. I will forever take medication. Just please remember. That you aren’t alone. You are worth life. I know how it feels to fight demons that are beyond your mental capacity. I know how alone you feel. I understand the tears of not understanding half the things you do. I understand what anxiety and depression is. If I get too stressed, I have a panic attack on top of a bipolar episode. Trust me, I understand. You are beautiful, never forget that.

Everyone struggles with something in life. Some struggle for brief periods of time and some struggle every day. I belong to the some who struggle every day. Since I was 5 years old I have constantly struggled with mental illness. I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, schizophrenia, depression, anxiety, ADD, ADHD, PTSD, and attention deficit Disorder. My dad, step mother, and Step Father physically abused me for most of my life because they didn’t understand what I was going through and my Mother was the only person in my life to try to help me through everything I was dealing with. Unfortunately I did not trust anyone around me due to how I was treated at home and because I was constantly bullied at school because I was different. Eventually the abuse I was facing at my step fathers house led to me going into a state of shock and I tried to hurt my mother because I was so out of it and thought she was my step father. I was 15 at this point and was detained. 

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Hello all,

My name is Isabel and I have been diagnosed with Manic Bipolar Disorder, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Schizophrenia, Depression, Paranoia and have pretty bad anxiety. I suppose I thought of writing this because having a mental illness eats up the joy in life. I have been struggling since I could remember, especially because these “disorders” are apart of my genetic history. Family members have given themselves to alcohol and drugs ; unfortunately that includes myself. There is so much I want spill because it has taken me a long time to realize that there is millions of people out there too that suffer from disorders. At certain occasions I feel alone in this world because of the illness(s). Please for the sake of yourself, loved ones even strangers at times, there is going to be hope. Self harm does harm, food isn’t always comforting, and drugs/alcohol are never the answer. 

Just know that someone is always willing to listen, especially me. The hotline that NAMI provides is AMAZING! Use it to your best advantages. Love you guys.

            My name is Jennifer and I am a recovered mental illness survivor—

            I have endured severe mental illness for over half my life.  During that time, I suffered from clinical depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, schizoaffective disorder, and borderline personality disorder.

            Due to the depression, my behaviors ranged from excessive crying to excessive sleeping to suicide attempts.  I felt feelings of worthlessness, hopelessness, and helplessness.  All I thought I wanted to do was die.   But in fact, what I really wanted was help with overcoming my severe sadness.

            During my manic states, I endured impulsive, spontaneous, and irresponsible behaviors.  I felt on top of world.  I felt excessive amounts of energy.  I had racing thoughts.  I had delusions of grandeur.  I’ll be honest.  It felt great to be so high, but it is also very dangerous.  Risky behaviors can lead to much endangerment of self and others.

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So, since 2011 my older brother has been having symptoms but has been diagnosed with schizophrenia, bipolar disorder and ADHD, in my opinion psychosis. I’ve been to mental health court with him, tried several programs and various medications. Me and mother’s last resort is always the hospitalization. He needs therapy, he hasn’t been on meds in 9 months he was fine but not he decided to get back on meds but doesn’t take all of them. He’s an alcoholic, beer consumption everyday! He always blames me and my mother if he can’t find something he lost. He has angry issues, blast loud music and in his car I’m surprised neighbors don’t call the police for noise complaints. It’s exhausting going through this all. I can’t allow my oldest brother who also in a program to come over because my other brother thinks he steals his stuff which isn’t true. I can barely sleep most of the time, I sleep over my bf house just to get a rest, on top of that I’m my mother’s caregiver she has metastatic breast cancer. The stress is unbearable. Idk what to do anymore except deal with it as I been dealing with it sadly.

I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and schizophrenia around 22 years old.  I was jailed for illness related reasons and charged.  I was acquitted and given a five year program to see a doctor and be monitored.  I stayed at my parents house and worked to help in every way I could, and at the same time I struggling with the illness.  I suffered and worked my way through it.  After completing the program I continued working but with an aim toward spirituality.  I received Christ and surrendered my life.  I have moved to a recovery based community with groups, therapy, and a doctor.  Now about 15 years later I am living independently with their support. 

My Name is Steven. I am almost 59 years old. I had been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder and Schizophrenia at age 21. I have been ashamed of my diagnosis and kept the illness very quiet. I come from a large family, I am the 4th child of 8. I was saved by Dr Dmochowski. I believed I had lived through the Summer of 1976 with depression.

My Bipolar disorder started in 1977. I started to have Manic episodes and It was like; I could solve all the world problems and people would believe it. Then, sometimes even the same day,  I would be walking down the street at night and see car headlights. I would hide behind a tree so the car would not see me. I started hearing voices as well. These voices were telling to have sex. I do not recall now what I was hearing, however the voices were not malicious and mean. I had no suicidal thoughts. 

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My name is Gthreesongs why because I don’t really like sharing my name because of things that happened in the past. I probably suffer from bipolar disorder or depression and anxiety and maybe Schizophrenia but there is hope for people that suffer from it just have good friends and love life and your family or if something is happening where you don’t like your family chose your friends.

It was June 2003 when I was first diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder which, no doubt, had gone undiagnosed for my entire life. My life was sprinkled with extreme anxiety attacks, OCD, manic episodes, and especially severe depression. By the time I had my own family – a wife and two boys of my own – my depression had gotten out of control.

For me depression was and is extended periods of time inside a six foot cube with no stimulus. No light sneaking in through my lids. No sound other than shallow, rushed breaths. No breeze touching my face. Alone.

But depression is just as much about ‘fullness’ as it is about emptiness. I struggled with an overload of negativity that reached deep into my soul to drag out any signs of hope and love. All at once I would be inundated with anger for what’s happened and about to happen, sorrow for those I’ve lost - some in the most tragic of ways - and the deep loss of who I thought I was. The loss of being the go-to-marketing-guy at work, the loving husband, the fun dad, the brave youth hockey coach, and the bread winner. 

As time passed the depression showed up in suicidality and ultimately attempts leaving me hospitalized five different times. I was put on Short-term disability three years in a row and forced out on Long-term disability in 2006. All the while, the doctors toiled to find the right mix of meds that would stabilize me and help me have as much of a normal life as possible. They added 32 courses of Electroconvulsive Therapy which jarred me out of the most severe depression and suicidality.

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