Request for spouses of those mentally ill
My mother was ill with schizophrenia with borderline and all kinds of other stuff and it basically boils down to this: she was a total witch that went for the jugular. I have no recollection of her being any other way. My father was a battered spouse who basically let her run the household. We kids were not allowed to have feelings, preferences, become a person really and the message to me, in particular, was that I was a very bad and awful person. It has had a huge negative impact on my life, including PTSD, and that is not for lack of trying to overcome it. I’m well over 40 and still trying. But here’s why I am writing: I was never told she was ill. Had I known, my outcome would have been vastly different. All the negative messages I would have cast off as nutty rather than true. So, I am begging all the spouses of mentally ill folks out there to PLEASE tell your children the truth and it is never too early to start explaining the situation in terms that are age appropriate. It’s basically the difference between your kids having self esteem and absolutely none at all. Thanks for listening.