Success for an Army Veteran with Bipolar Disorder
The Department of Rehabilitation paid for my master’s degree to teach severely emotionally disturbed students. I was without an episode for almost 5 years. On the Memorial Day Weekend of 1993, I had an episode with too much grief over 4 murders and 2 suicides scattered out over the course of 2 years. For three of the victims, I knew very well, and the other 3 I knew of. I admitted myself to a hospital in my school district for fear of my illness doing harm to me. The nurses only had one other person with mental illness. He did not speak. The rest were loud addicts that dominated group meetings. I did not relate, because I did not break the law to use illegal drugs. My thought disorders prevented communication and their isolation intensified my inability to tell them that I was in horrid grief. Isolation was in a time out room with only a mattress on the floor. I was there for about 2 weeks. Unlike my fellow veterans with PTSD, I am embarrassed as how I got my flashbacks. On some mornings, I awaken from my mattress with anger and paranoia as to how to trust mental health care for my students and my lifetime punishment for being mentally ill.
Although it was difficult and I was very frightened, I still continued teaching and my sense of humor entertained the staff and my students. After 20 years of effective teaching before the Veteran’s Day with a very significant date of 11/11/11, stigma defeated me. I was forced into retirement. My new principal said that I was bizarre without submitting any evidence. When I told her that my grandson’s mother had sinus cancer, she went into a cheer about fighting cancer. I heard new things like I needed social skills training and that I had schizo-affective disorder. If all of that be true, then I am a miracle to have lasted 6 years as a tour guide, to earn the Good Conduct Medal, to be successful on job interviews, and to be an effective teacher for 20 years. Their time with me was extremely short in comparison to the intense psychological testing of me done, and months of observations done by several psychiatrists before the Dept. of Rehab. paid for a master’s degree. In 2009 I qualified well enough to function as a teacher on the Minnesota personality test. This was done by a clinical psychologist whose wife was a retired special educator for the severely emotionally disturbed.
At present I am writing a book of my humor for my family and friends. Laughter is the best medicine if you are full blown manic. Please remember to take your meds, because demon spelled backwards spells no med. One of the greatest heartbreaks for medical science was when they had no meds for the mentally ill. Take care and have fun.
