Chihuahua Miracle
BY SARA PAULSEN
Mental Health Survivor, dog breeder, and Liam
SEBAGO, MAINE— In my mid-20s, I was terrified to reintegrate myself into society after losing my job and ending up on disability. Even though I was taking
my medication for my schizoaffective disorder, it doesn’t control all my
symptoms. I don’t have delusions anymore, but I am left with visual and
auditory hallucinations. I became very lonely, and I was at a loss as to how
I would continue to live the rest of my life. I needed a companion; I
desperately wanted a Chihuahua.
I didn’t intend for him to be a service dog. Over the Internet, I found a
local Chihuahua breeder with a positive reputation. While petting Liam for
the first time, I began to open up to the breeder, who told me she had been
training Chihuahuas for 33 years.
She was very easy to talk to, so I told her about my journey with
mental illness and why I wanted a dog at this point in my life. She asked
me what I was still struggling with on a daily basis.
I explained that I was constantly asking my boyfriend either “Did you
hear that?” or “Did you see that?” to get a reality check on the low-level
hallucinations that my medicine still doesn’t completely control. As you can
imagine, it was creating a lot of stress in our home. I was also paranoid
about being home alone and going out alone, and I was self-conscious
about my possible behaviors.
The breeder asked if I would consider working with her to train Liam
to help me. I immediately thought of hugs, kisses and unconditional love –
which are all wonderful – but I didn’t know what else she could train Liam to
do for me. She said she had ideas that she had never tried before and asked if I would be willing to work on creating a Chihuahua miracle. She
didn’t ask for a penny.
How could I resist? I worked with her for two years twice a week, and
during the second year, my therapist even agreed to join us. This was the
opportunity of a lifetime.
Liam now assists me in ways I never thought possible. I’ll lightly tap
his shoulder with two fingers and then ask him either “Did you hear that?”
or “Did you see that?” If he did, he will put one paw forward; if he did not,
he will lie down.
Super amazing, right? I had no idea a dog could do this. This
seemingly basic task changes the way I live my life every day.
He has become my barometer for reality. I don’t have to ask the
people closest to me a thousand times a day about a possible
hallucination. I don’t have to be scared and wake someone up in the middle
of the night. My paranoia has decreased drastically. I’m not scared to be
home alone and I’m not scared to go out alone, because he is always there
supporting me.
I continue to bring Liam, my Chihuahua, everywhere I go. I am a
public speaker for three separate mental health speaker bureaus in Maine.
He can be quite the attraction. It is as if we have an invisible leash
connection at all times. He just turned 7 years old, so we are in a fantastic
rhythm together. He is still happy and healthy.
His little 6-pound frame has changed my life. I am not scared
anymore, and my relationships are stronger and healthier than ever before.
He has helped me so much to reintegrate into society. He is my best and
most loyal friend.
