I am writing this letter to you as a spouse and sibling of mental illness.My brother was never fully diagnosed with depression or bipolar, he suffered several years. As a result of not getting proper treatment, his medication was changed very frequently and he  committed suicide. He left behind three children under the age of 13. It’s been really hard to understand the what and the why, he chose to take his life.

I took the next NAMI Family-to-Family program at our local VA hospital, in 2010 it was the first time I had been educated on any form of mental illness. After taking the class I wanted to let everyone that I know about all the information I learned. I took the teacher program and became an advocate for NAMI and I can honestly say that it helped me to heal from my brothers death. I still would like to know why but that’s something I will never know. 

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For over 40 years, our family has lived with a fatal risk of a close family member who is suicidal and homicidal. Despite threats and living with the fear of a death by reason of mental illness, our survival is based on spiritual and professional advice, as well as early intervention. Our brother received group & individual counseling, as well as medication at no charge, while he was a student at UGA in the 1970s. He completed his bachelors in horticulture during a 6 year, reduced class load. Then had full time horticulture employment for three years at a public school facility.  His grandiose and ambitious nature took him into unstructured “self-employment” and a developing female relationship, which failed and left him traveling Western states, engaging in several part time employments. He always had family financial support to fall back on, though he lived a very meager lifestyle. Eventually returning home to GA for a few years before returning to the remote & beautiful landscape of the West, where he felt his cherished connection with the imagination of his happier years of a cradled child who watched old Western movies. He was content. We re-assured us that he was doing okay most of the time. 

Primarily because of the 1970s’ generosity of the UGA counseling center and medication (not affordable to our family), fatal consequences have not yet occurred.  As Christmas approaches, we are cautious not to intrude on the daily routine of our “brother-at-risk”. We eventually receive a letter sometimes a week, sometimes a month after Christmas. If we have not heard from him, we call or write a brief “Christmas” card, never any admonishment or advice.

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I have a family history involving mental illness. I have had one sister commit suicide, another who has tried and/or threatened it for many years. Myself, I was originally diagnosed with depression since my teenage years. For many years my medication was a god send. I am 60 yrs old (October 4). A large corporation in Madison (and beyond) allowed my direct manager to harass and bully myself and residents on a continuing basis. The end result, I am now on SSDI, unable to work, drive, and unable to support myself  (years of lost wages ahead). This person broke me down, now diagnosed as PTSD, severe depression, anxiety and now I have panic attacks. Harassment is a hard thing to prove in a court of law, as is bullying. It seems no-one will open this can of worms. This must be stopped. The man got fired, finally, after continued mistreatment of 200 elderly people in the building, (after I had to leave my profession because of his abuse). I only wish I would have known about recognizing this type of behavior immediately, and finding out where to get help so that it never happens to someone else.

I want to send the message that BULLYING, and harassment is NEVER ACCEPTABLE. SPEAK UP!!!

There are many people including me who have been physically and verbally abused by spouse, family or “friends”. This of course made the mental illness worse. I used to imagine nasty ways of killing my abusers. I wasn’t able to let go of things like a man that I loved completing suicide. I used to have horrible thoughts going round and round in a circle. Through good therapy and medication I have learned that peace of mind cannot be obtained by seeing your abuser punished. peace of mind will come if you can accept the past without being angry or ashamed. Pauline

Mental illness and addiction runs rampant in my family. Mostly on my mothers side where it can be traced back for generations. As for me I feel lucky that my mental health seems to be centered around depression. I say lucky because my brother has been institutionalized with schizophrenia for over 30 yrs. I have two cousins who are gone now that also had schizophrenia that lived on the streets mostly and who are an example of the poor mental health care system we have in the US. Don’t get me wrong, their are scores of wonderful folks out their doing great work in helping the mentally ill but the resources they have are limited. My uncle and grandmother committed suicide which is something I have thought about almost daily for many years. My grandmother walked in the ocean back in the 1930’s 9 months after giving birth to her 6th child. PPD was probably the reason but unfortunately back then it wasn’t recognized.

 My history includes lots of alcohol and drug abuse. I look back and see that I was treating the symptoms of depression without even knowing it. Alcohol worked really well and I had many fun and enjoyable times in the beginning although like most alcoholics I drank irresponsibly. Long story short those substances stopped working and the spiral down continued. I am clean and sober now and depression and it’s systems are a daily occurrence. Support groups have been helpful and medication has given me temporary relief but like all the substances I have used, medications turn on me. Lots of anger and thoughts of suicide occur after a short period of taking medications so I gave up on them. Today I use the tools I have learned over the years. Focusing on gratitude is the most powerful. I am grateful my illness isn’t so severe that I would be unable to access the part of my brain that sees normality. Thanks for letting me share.

Hello, I have always thought that sharing my story with the mental health community is important to bring hope to others that are just like me.

I’m a 37 year old divorced mother of two boys. I have been in therapy of some kind or another since I was 7 years old. Mental illness runs in my family as well as substance abuse addiction. I believe I was born with my many disorders that progressed and worsened as I got older, abused illegal drugs, prescribed medication and had my children. In my early childhood I showed all the many signs of OCD. I also grew up in an extremely chaotic family where my mother suffered terribly with her own mental illness that was never acknowledged or treated and an emotionally absent father. My two older siblings coped with this by using and abusing drugs and my older sister was put into rehab when I was seven. My older brother simply moved away and is still an addict today covering up his own mental health issues. My younger sister was extremely emotionally disturbed and would act out violently towards my parents but especially towards me. She would later become a drug addict for many years and thankfully entered recovery 4 ½ years ago.

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I am a 30-year-old female with bipolar disorder and I am here to share my story of living with this mental health condition.

By the age of 16 years old, I had probably been diagnosed with every mental illness out there and taken every medication possible. It wasn’t until I was 24 years old and in early recovery from addiction, that I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. It took me a long time to accept the fact that I had this diagnosis. No one understood what I was dealing with. I never knew if I would wake up happy or depressed. I did tons and tons of research on bipolar disorder and found that it is partially genetic, so I decided to do some digging and look into my family. I found out that my great grandmother had died by suicide at the age of 24. My father had told me he didn’t want me to know because he blamed himself for my mental illness.

I look back, and always ask, “why me?” I feel like I was hit with the stick that gave me a mental health condition and a substance abuse disorder. Being one of three girls, I always felt like the black sheep of my family. I was always messing up and getting into trouble, especially when I would become manic. To me, mania is an outer body experience and I loved the feeling. In a matter of two weeks I spent over $20,000 because of my mania.

I have learned that bipolar disorder is not my life—it’s just part of who I am. I am not shy about it and I do public speaking about my illness. Now at the age of 30, I am a licensed master social worker working with individuals with mental health conditions. Mental illness is not something we can help and education is the key factor in getting others to understand what we are dealing with. I am finally stable on my medication and am doing the best I have been in a long time.

Even though my life isn’t where I thought it would be, coming to terms with my bipolar disorder was a major accomplishment. Don’t get me wrong—I still have my ups and downs and I still have a lot of symptoms that are very difficult to manage. NAMI is such an amazing organization with everything they do and I want to thank NAMI for always providing services and educational material to better help understand and deal with bipolar disorder.

Remember, you are not your mental illness, it is just a part of you. Stay strong and don’t stop fighting.

I’ve struggled with mental illness since I was 13 years old. In the beginning I was diagnosed with depression and I was given lexapro to help with it. I took the medication felt no difference and would sometimes remember to take and but most of the time not. But I told my family that I was taking it regularly. Years later after recalling the times in high school when I would take it I would become giddy but not in a good way. I would be overly happy and aggressive with my family members and friends. My junior year of high school my dog who I loved like he was my child passed away from cancer. I was devastated, and then a few months later I broke up with my long term boyfriend right before the holidays. These major events triggered something inside my brain and that was the start of my manic episode. My episode was very public and embarrassing and ended with my getting expelled from school and put into a mental institution for two months. It was a horrible time but I’m glad it happened because if it hadn’t I wouldn’t have been correctly diagnosed with Bipolar 1 Disorder. The journey afterwards has been a long and difficult one. It took along time for me to feel human again and be able to function normally. The first three years after being diagnosed were the hardest years I’ve ever experienced. I’d never wanted to die more in my life than I did in those years, but I began to think of how my death would affect people around me and that stopped me many times from ending it all. I got my diploma and quickly got a job, but then the stress led me to having another manic episode so I quit. After a lot of thought I decided to enroll into a community college. I didn’t think I’d go to college but I decided I wanted to go back to school. I was scared to be around people and I still am, but going has helped me tremendously and I’m glad I decided to go. My mind that had once been holding me prisoner was now getting to a place where I could work with it again. I was able to do things I thought I’d never do again because of my anxiety about it and the more I did stuff the more confident I became. I made one good friend from school. She understands my struggles and supports me. Without her I feel like I’d still be in the lonely pit I was in for years. I now go to school, work, babysit for my family, and have been continuing to go to my therapist and psychiatrist. I now take my medication as prescribed and I feel really good and functional. I still struggle a lot with my mental illness but I listen to my body now and contact my psychiatrist if things begin turning bad. I know things can seem really bad and have no hope, but to that I say keep pushing forward and just take one step at a time. I never thought I’d be where I’m at now, but I’m so thankful I didn’t end my life when I was so depressed. You can make your mind your friend. You just need to be patient and be willing to get and receive help. I wish you all the best on your journeys and I believe you can all achieve anything you out your mind to.

It started when my former neighbors somehow found out I am mentally ill and was prescribed medication. They found out I had difficulty hearing voices so they mimiced voices through the shared wall in our complex and demanded the medication. They threatened to kill me and my family if I didn’t place the meds on my doorstep. I was terrified but didn’t give them anything.

They then used, hard to believe but true, bugs and miniature cameras, to terrorize me. I asked them, begged them, “Why are you doing this to me?” And, the female voice said, “Because it’s fun, interesting, and different every day!”. They claimed to be in a gang and continued to threaten me, but I did not go to the police for help. This was one of the biggest mistakes of my life! They placed bugs in my car and the began stalking me everywhere I went. I later discovered that they used a GPS because they were showing up everywhere I went.

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