Angel My Story
im not good at this kinda of thing and please over look my bad spelling and hopefully u guys can make out what im trypeing. anyways im lucky just to be here I was born with lots of problems. but I know things could be an whole lot worse. my really bad depression and axnity strated out in school. I knew why I was so dperssed and filled with axnity but just went into my own little world because I feelt like everyone was agasint me. when that probably wasn’t the case there was an lot going on at the time not so much in life just in school but it did lead to havein issues at home.
I was different from all the other kids and had an really hard time learning. do to havein an low iq so I never feelt like I was in an spot where I feelt comfbale or at home to where I feelt like I could be myself. but long story short after that I tried going to college. but when it comes to me tryin to stuby or forces I never could its not that I didn’t want to I wanted to. just got to easly frustrated and anggratvted but I had to quite do to other helath issues not meantli health ones. I wanted so bad to go and stay in college I know having an low iq u guys are problay sayin how did u even make it into college? I just keep tryin untile I got an ok score to at lest make it in.
I really wanted to be an fashion designer so bad. i love being cerative and comein up with new ideals. and helping people in some way. i knew i wasn’t really smart but i had my whole full heart into theses deress degisn. i still have them today and really woundered to myself what i am i going to do with them is it in gods plane that someday they will be used some where. maybe or maybe not im still going to keep them safe and haug on to them. because u never know but after that my dperssed and everything got worse had mood swings i would cry an lot i would never smile or laught. i was just really lifeless. i would get really angery fast and i would tell people off if they said something that i didn’t like but i did let my anger get the best of me to where i got in other peoples face. and my anger did miss up an could have been realteship with one guy. i told him i was sorry but i had to hear from other people why he wouldn’t talk to me any more or tell me that hey i don’t think we should talk any more. i guess he was afraid to hurt my feelings or make me cry or afried i would try to fight him. ill always look back and say that was my flaut and i try to forgive myself.
after that i got help for all the deperession and anxity and everything i went on different mednices nothing helped much at all so i decide to see someone for help so this is my second time seeing someone and going to talk to someone about my issues. so she told me i could have Biplor Disorder. i didn’t want to face that but now with her help im tryin its hard because this disorder people look at it as oh she is crazy when to me all i ever feel is nothing but angery and dperssed and sometimes just want to cry for no reasons. so i reached mental health disorders and biplor scarys me knowing that if i do have this that it could get so bad to where i strat hearing voices and see things.
sometimes i get mad at god and just mad at everything and everyone. frist being born with an low iq people all ready think im crazy for that then maybe biplora. but i guess i shouldn’t worry to much i mean looks like god wanted me to be born that way. if not he problay woudnt have given me the whole low iq thing. its just really hard i have lost friends ships and could have been relateships do to my anger and i feel like everything is falling apaprt and im never going to be happy. and theres just no light at the end of the tunnel. but im lucky to have an dad that loves me as much as he does we haven’t always had an really good relateship but god knows i love him. and my mother im lucky to have her to be so paentines with me the way she is. always sayin u can do anything u set your mind to. and my sister tryin to put an smile on my face when im feeling down. just wanted to share this with people. and thanks for everyone who does read it.