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Bits and Pieces of My Journey…
I was diagnosed with Manic Depression and Anxiety in 2011. An ambulance came to me and took me to the Emergency room when I was having suicidal behavior. From there I was admitted to the Psychiatric Hospital. I went through treatment at the hospital for a week and they diagnosed me with a mental illness. I was also prescribed medication and when I was released to go back home I went to therapy every week. I decided to be Homebound for the rest of my High School years up until I graduated in 2012 and walked across that stage to receive my Diploma. Almost 2 years ago I came off of my medication and stopped going to therapy for personal reasons and because I thought I could deal with it on my own and wanted to feel like myself again. (I also didn’t like the side effects of this medication.) Going through the ups and downs that I have over the years has definitely made me stronger, understand others and myself a little more, life, and I am able to cope better at this point. But, I still don’t believe my diagnoses was 100% accurate. At this point in my life I realize I have came along way but I still struggle every day with my confused thoughts and dark times. I know that I cannot continue to do life alone and try to deal with this myself. You have to work at it everyday and there is always room for improvement. I am taking action to plan to get involved in programs to balance life and help others and myself. I want to reach out to the community and help others who deal with mental illnesses to understand who they are and how to pave a path to bring out the best in them and in each other. I also want to educate people who do not understand mental illnesses and have not been diagnosed.
Keep the faith and keep on keeping on!
I encourage everyone to stay strong & don’t lose hope no matter what :)
I also have a powerful weapon to help me through each day… My relationship with God!
To Put it Simply: I am Mentally Ill
I was recently at a dinner with two friends, when we began discussing mental illness and mental health treatment.
All three of us have openly had periods of struggle with both depression and anxiety, but we all had very different takes on treatment, particularly in regards to antidepressants.
“I wouldn’t go on them,” said the first friend.
“I would go on them, but just until I feel better,” said the second.
My take was the opposite: I have been taking antidepressants on and off my entire life, and since deciding to take them consistently nearly three years ago, my life has turned around. I plan to be on them forever.
Conversations like this are not uncommon. When it comes to mental health issues, opinions are often polarized and strongly held.
I understand that antidepressants are not for everyone; many people are fortunate in not suffering from mental illness, and even many of those who do would prefer to have medication be their last resort.
For me, medication is a part of a more comprehensive treatment plan to avoid falling back into the throes of the major depression that I know always lingers beneath the surface of my delicately balanced equilibrium.
I remember what it feels like to be unwell.
Acceptance
I thought that I had accepted my mental illness long ago. After all, I was taking medication and attending counseling after being hospitalized for months in a state psychiatric hospital. Here I was an “advocate” for mental health but refused to disclose to anyone that I was suffering. It wasn’t until I moved back to my hometown and got involved as a mental health advocate for NAMI that I realized what exactly accepting a mental health diagnosis meant.
Accepting meant that I was going to no longer stigmatize myself for being ill. A condition, is a condition, is a condition. I wouldn’t treat someone with diabetes any differently for being ill so why was I holding myself up to such a ridiculous standard? Accepting meant that I was not afraid to stand in front of a group of 20 strangers and disclose what I thought was my biggest secret in order to educate the community. For so long I wanted change to the system, change to mental health care. The only way that change is going to happen is if we all accept our conditions and reduce the stigmatization. Through acceptance and education comes change.
That change is exactly what I am seeing in myself and my community now. After going through facilitator training for the NAMI Connection Recovery Support Group program I started a support group for adults with mental illness in my community. I now sit on the advisory board for my mental health agency and my local NAMI affiliate as a mental health consumer. I am no longer afraid to say that I have a mental illness and advocate for those who have not yet reached that stage in their recovery or are unable to advocate for themselves. There is help and there is hope.
Swimming Saved My Life
I’ve gotten so many private messages asking me what caused this
recent positive change in my mental health that I’ve lost count. The
answer is simple. Exercise. Whether you struggle with a mental illness
or not, exercise is something we all need in our lives to stay healthy.
Being diagnosed with a goody bag of mental disorders and then seeking
treatment, taking medication, and getting support from my family/friends
are all things that help me survive. But I don’t want to just survive…I
want to live! Bringing back intense exercise into my life has pulled me
out of my dark, lonely cave and taken me from simply existing to really
living for the first time in my life.
You don’t have to train
like a professional athlete, but breaking a sweat on a regular basis
will make a huge difference in how you feel both physically and
mentally. The fact that so many of us separate our mind and body makes
it difficult to see exercise as a way to keep your brain healthy. Change
how you view exercising and staying active. Choose to look at it as a
way to make your brain healthy and happy instead of viewing it as a way
to help you look a certain way/squeeze into those jeans that used to fit
when you were in high school.
Family Disease
Mental illness and addiction runs rampant in my family. Mostly on my mothers side where it can be traced back for generations. As for me I feel lucky that my mental health seems to be centered around depression. I say lucky because my brother has been institutionalized with schizophrenia for over 30 yrs. I have two cousins who are gone now that also had schizophrenia that lived on the streets mostly and who are an example of the poor mental health care system we have in the US. Don’t get me wrong, their are scores of wonderful folks out their doing great work in helping the mentally ill but the resources they have are limited. My uncle and grandmother committed suicide which is something I have thought about almost daily for many years. My grandmother walked in the ocean back in the 1930’s 9 months after giving birth to her 6th child. PPD was probably the reason but unfortunately back then it wasn’t recognized.
My history includes lots of alcohol and drug abuse. I look back and see that I was treating the symptoms of depression without even knowing it. Alcohol worked really well and I had many fun and enjoyable times in the beginning although like most alcoholics I drank irresponsibly. Long story short those substances stopped working and the spiral down continued. I am clean and sober now and depression and it’s systems are a daily occurrence. Support groups have been helpful and medication has given me temporary relief but like all the substances I have used, medications turn on me. Lots of anger and thoughts of suicide occur after a short period of taking medications so I gave up on them. Today I use the tools I have learned over the years. Focusing on gratitude is the most powerful. I am grateful my illness isn’t so severe that I would be unable to access the part of my brain that sees normality. Thanks for letting me share.
Change is Possible
I am a survivor of depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, an eating disorder, self harm, and suicide. Although I am a survivor my fight is not over. Far too often people think that a mental illness can be cured and that is far from the truth. Back in October of 2010 I felt as if my life had fallen apart and I was admitted into a psychiatric hospital for the first time. I never really knew that these types of hospitals existed or that the things I was struggling with were common among people my age. I was 16 at the time and I truly felt so alone. From October 2010- May 2013 I was admitted into 6 different psychiatric hospitals. I was admitted so many times that I cannot even give you a number. When I was struggling through those years in my life I honestly did not see myself having a future. I stopped planning my future and I did not care about the long term effects that my choices had on my life because I did not foresee myself living through it all.
Permission to Pursue Happiness: How I Wrote my Way to Survival
My name is Lindsay Wheeler and I have struggled with mental illness for my entire life. I’ve found empowerment in being a thought leader, writing about my experience with depression, bipolar, and an eating disorder, and advocating for others with similar challenges. Besides the work I do personally, my decision to be transparent and write about my fight with depression inspired the founding of a mental illness project at my alma mater. I continue to write and share everyday for my followers and broadening community.
Suicide and mental illness are rampant, and issues few people address head on. I allowed mental illness to cripple me in silence for too many years. When I couldn’t take it anymore, I began to write about it publicly and in detail. Exposing the most fragile pieces of myself to a world that has historically rejected these sorts of expressions was an exhilarating feat in which stigma had its chance prevail. But stigma is weak at its core and I conquered it head on. Advocacy is my life now.
The world fears women who push the envelope; those who say “it’s okay to be vulnerable.” Weaving humor and light into moments of discomfort or anguish can help to transform those mired in the chains of history. Sarah Silverman didn’t make history by sitting in the back and keeping quiet. Mental illness isn’t defeat; it is a sometimes-treacherous path to self- realization. Beside me stand so very many others in the same heavy shoes, wondering how they got here. I write for each and every person who has called or written to tell me they found hope in the context of a dialog I started. It is they who have given me the courage to share my secrets, how I find light in dark places, and be free.
My writing is relatable to those who struggle with mental illness personally, as well as those who don’t. This is my gift, and I know I’d be wasting it if I didn’t shoot to spread it as much as possible. The response I’ve received for my writing has been tremendous and I’m in the process of writing a book. In the past, I simply wasn’t ready to live my life the way I do now, but today I am proud to stand as a resource for anybody who may need help.
Mental Health: Don’t beware…BE AWARE AND CARE!!!
Hello. We all can live a great, purposeful life managing Bipolar Condition or any mental health situations.
The social stigma of mental illness used to bother me to no end…and contribute to my problems! I’m over that now, but I prefer to call it Bipolar Condition vs. “Disorder”. I also prefer to discuss Mental Health vs. “Illness”.
My story in general:
So Happy That I Found You
I am writing this letter to you as a spouse and sibling of mental illness.My brother was never fully diagnosed with depression or bipolar, he suffered several years. As a result of not getting proper treatment, his medication was changed very frequently and he committed suicide. He left behind three children under the age of 13. It’s been really hard to understand the what and the why, he chose to take his life.
I took the next NAMI Family-to-Family program at our local VA hospital, in 2010 it was the first time I had been educated on any form of mental illness. After taking the class I wanted to let everyone that I know about all the information I learned. I took the teacher program and became an advocate for NAMI and I can honestly say that it helped me to heal from my brothers death. I still would like to know why but that’s something I will never know.
A Cautionary Tale About Psychotropics, the Industry, and How They Can Worsen Mental Illness
I first began to experience symptoms of bipolar disorder in my early teens. i was put on Lithium while in a hospital and right away the almost catatonic depression I was in began to ease. From there on in, it seemed medication would be the answer to everything that was wrong with me. For years i was on every depression medication available, tricyclics, MAO inhibitors–when one stopped working, I was simply put on something else. Then things got better and I needed no medication through my twenties. i still struggled with lows, but there were no suicide attempts, I was able to live and love, to work and, for the most part, even enjoy life. Then, at the age of 29 I had a manic episode and my medication nightmare began.